Week 7 Twitter Feeds

Here’s what I’ve learned from Twitter, what I’ve guessed, and what I expect to see on Monday.

• Erica has completely lost it.  She will do anything to keep Kevin around, including going against her word and alienating all of her friends.
• Kevin is still not going to fall in love with Erica, get married, and have 10,000 of her babies.
• Joy and Stephanie were Team Captains, and Joy lost the challenge.
• Kevin, Andrea, and Erica voted to send Gene to limbo.  Jeffrey was conflicted, but ultimately decided to vote for Andrea to avoid being a backstabby jackass.  The #Fanswers may or may not have helped in this regard, since I never saw the questions this week due to ABC’s crappy website not working on my phone and the fact that I was traveling.
• Stephanie and Gene voted for Andrea.  Since Jeffrey honored his word, there was a tie, and Joy voted for Andrea (obviously).
• Erica sometimes forgets to log out of Twitter so other people can tweet as her.
• Andrea is going to win this thing, because she inexplicably has the biggest fan base.
• Gene has some reason for wanting to hide in the Twitter booth for hours at a time, as evidenced by his dozens of spammy tweets that tag every famous person alive.  Maybe he’s been possessed by the spirit of Holly?  ImissHollyherTweetswerefullofexcitmentandstragey!YayTeamWackadoodle!
• Andrea has only been on one winning challenge team.  Everyone else has been on at least two.  This suggests that, in addition to being annoying and a total snob, Andrea is neither smart nor athletic.  I can certainly see why everyone in America is voting for her.
• There are flies in The Glass House.  Stephanie tried to make fly paper, but it didn’t work.
• Gene says that Kevin told different people different things about his #Fanswers.  Kevin is mad at Gene for calling him a liar.  
• Ori is still the coolest character in The Glass House.
• There’s loads of drama.
• There are way too many tweets this week.  The sheer volume (despite Holly’s absence) gave me a headache.

Week 6 Twitter Summary

So, summarizing what I see on Twitter is far less entertaining now that Holly is gone (R.I.P., Holly).  But, I do enjoy putting pieces of the puzzle together based on what they post, so here’s what I’ve gleaned from Twitter over the past week or so. Guess we’ll find out tonight if I’m right.

• ABC’s vote tallying system is as messed up as everything else about this show.  I guarantee that most people voted for either Gene/Joy to go on the date or Kevin/Erica.  However, there were probably a few people who voted for Kevin/Andrea (which would be funny), Kevin/Mike (because they inexplicably enjoy the bromance), or Gene/Stephanie (to make Joy jealous).  That means that Kevin and Gene would have ended up with the most votes.  So, instead of picking the couple with the most votes, which makes sense and would have been entertaining, they pick the two people with the most votes, which is stupid.  That also confirms what I suspected about why we’re getting some really stupid pairings in the friends/enemies room (or, we were in the beginning).
• Jeffrey volunteered for limbo because he thinks he can beat Mike, and he wants Andrea to be Team Captain next week.  I suspect that he’s wrong about how large her fan base is, but I hope I’m mistaken.
• Joy and Erica had a big fight, probably related to Erica’s bizarre obsession with Kevin.  It didn’t appear to be affecting their alliance on the live feeds, but I’m expecting some fireworks when the episode airs.
• Gene is convinced that he has a huge following and the fans love him. The evidence suggests that he is right.
• They all had to dress as hipsters.  I don’t recall seeing a vote on this, but whatever.  I can’t imagine that it’s entertaining.  Stephanie thought hipster Kevin was hot, though, so that’s entertaining, as it appeared to bother Erica.
• Erica quit smoking during week 6 on The Glass House.  Sounds like supremely bad timing to me.  I’m forced to wonder if she did it because Kevin wouldn’t kiss someone with smoker’s breath.
• Kevin is bitching that he can’t Tweet because other people are in the booth all the time.  Maybe that’s because he’s stupid enough to plot right outside where the person in the booth can hear him?  Just a guess.  Anyway, Kevin is desperate to bring Mike back.
• Speaking of stupid, Mike and Kevin had a long discussion on how to double-cross Gene while he was sitting in the Twitter booth, tweeting everything they said.  Oops!
• ABC still hasn’t found a high school student who is willing to work for minimum wage, because they’re still sending out tweets from one player which was supposed to come from someone else.
• No one wants to be voted out at this point.  Lots of tweets asking for votes and support.
• Erica is ecstatic that she has fans.
• Everyone in the Glass House drinks too much (except Andrea, of course).
• Stephanie knows that Kevin, Andrea, and Mike have been actively plotting against her.
• What the hell is The Cove?
• Food fights?  They’re still really bored in there.
• Nothing else remotely interesting.

Week 5 Twitter Summary

Andrea: “I hate everyone but Mike and Kevin.  I love my wonderful husband, Kevin.  Oops… I mean, Kris.”

Ashley:  “It’s hard being the least liked person in the house. Please vote for me.”

Erica:  “Giving Kevin another shot blew up horribly.  That sucks.”  Erica is awesome and her tweets are awesome.  I want to be Erica when I grow up.

Gene: “I’ve decided to tweet constantly, because it’s way cooler in the Twitter booth than in The Glass House.  I <3 Joy.   #TopTrendingTweets @CelebritiesThatHaveNothingToDoWithThisTweet.”

Holly: “ThistotallyblowsbutI’mgoingtohavetogohomethisweekaasdljfa ;djfkal;djf;asStategyStrategyVoteforMe!adf9a8d[f8asdpadsfasdfasdf asdfadsVoteForMe!SupremeTeamHAHAHAHAHATHATRHYMESIMadeAPoem!!WOO-HOOOOOO!!!asdfasdkjjk;asd…. Seriously, though, vote for me, because I’m screwed.”

Jeffrey:  “Hey, if you’re one of the prior eliminated players, can you ask all your fans to vote for me?  Unless you’re Robin, because I assume you can’t manage that.  Mike and Andrea sucks, Holly is annoying, yay food, and I heart Erica.”

Joy:  Joy actually didn’t send any tweets for seven days (other than the suspicious one below), then mostly threw shout-outs at Playboy and her daughter, then reminded us all that Kevin is a jackass (apparently because something new happened).

There’s something wrong with Joy’s feed, as I can only assume that she didn’t write this Tweet about what an assholes she is.  Seriously, ABC, I am positive that you can find someone who is willing to work for $8/hour and knows how to use Twitter.  My teenage niece is available until classes start in September.

Kevin:  “Huh.  I just realized that there’s this thing called “Twitter” that I can use to communicate with the viewers.  I also just realized that I’m screwed if people don’t start voting for me.  I wonder how I can put these two bits of information together….”

Ori:01001000011000010100100001100001001011100010000000100000010010010010000001101000011000010111011001100101001000000110110101101111011100100110010100100000011001100110111101101100011011000110111101110111011001010111001001110011001000000111010001101000011000010110111000100000011011010110111101110011011101000010000001101111011001100010000001110100011010000110010100100000011000110110111101101110011101000110010101110011011101000110000101101110011101000111001100101110

Mike: “If I pretend to love everyone on TeamAwesome, maybe I won’t be up for Team Captain again next week.  Please ignore everything you see in the videos and live feeds and believe only my tweets.  You are getting very sleepy….”

Stephanie: “Unlike Mike, I’m not lying when I say that I like some of the other players.  And unlike Mike, I don’t think the viewers are a bunch of mindless assholes.  Also unlike Mike, I do what the viewers say - Gene and I are the only ones.”  (Ok, I added all of the unlike Mike parts.  She’s not as snotty as I am.)

Week 4 Twitter Summaries

Andrea:  “I am super boring, and I love my kids and my husband.  Blah, blah, blah.  I really like The Bachelorette.”

Ashley:“IwanttobemorelikeHolly,soI’vedecidedthatthesecrettomakingtheviewerslikemeistotweetconstantlyaboutcrapnoonecaresaboutblahblahblahblahblahI’mtryingtocatchupbecauseshehaslike400tweetsandIamwaybehind!Ilovemythreefans!… PleasestopmakingmebeTeamCaptaineveryweek.Thanks.”

Erica:  Erica is delighted to be back in the house, for obvious reasons.  She made a couple of jokes about her and Kevin that suggest she’s a little hurt by him voting against her.  I can’t blame her.  Honestly, you should all just follow Erica.  You’ll be entertained.  She doesn’t tweet about her strategy, or begging for votes, or telling people what’s going on in the house.  But she is really funny, and I enjoy her feed the most out of all of them.

Gene: Gene is very bummed out this week,  because it’s the one year anniversary of his friend’s death.  He still has time to throw in some random hashtags, though.  Looks like we voted to let Gene supervise the other players while cleaning. 

Holly: •ªªoklnnm,dvsklj cdlnsunfpqw8 oeu fdslayulika9pr87oai ;jf;idasufio;anu sfio;dsafuioas;8r90[32840[qu;aijf lkasjfklasdjfksalhfo8734p09VOTEFORME!!![‘j;ladjfkl ausorawpo8ruiIHAVETHEBESTSTRATEGY!aids;kjasdlfal;sdkfjakl;suIAMSOSMART!!!09j;adsjadfmaderEveryoneunderestimatedme,andnowI’mgoingtowinbecauseImadesuchaboldunexpectedmoveIwin…. I would never throw a challenge, by the way…. aj;lsdjkf;jkdsf;butIamteamcaptainandIdidpickonlypeopleIhatetobeonmyteamandIwasvotedbackinoncesoIassumeyou’lldoitagain.ai;so8jsdf ;lasdf89a0sdf;jf;

Jeffrey: “I would like to send shout outs to everyone I have ever met.  Yes, even you.  Hi!”

Joy: “Kevin is a dick.  I heart Erica, Jeffrey, Stephanie, and Gene.  Also, I’m not playing Gene, and it’s insulting to both of us to suggests that I am.  We both know where we stand.  I love the viewers, the game is a learning experience, and it’s wonderful.”

Kevin: “I just realized that the viewers can actually help me win this thing.  Please vote for Robin.”

Mike:  “I’m not a jackass, I just play one on TV.  Ew.  Cleaning is gross.”

Ori:  “01001101 01111001 00100000 01101101 01100001 01101011 01100101 01110010 00100000 01101110 01100101 01110110 01100101 01110010 00100000 01110100 01101111 01101100 01100100 00100000 01101101 01100101 00100000 01110100 01101000 01100001 01110100 00100000 01001001 00100000 01110111 01101111 01110101 01101100 01100100 00100000 01100111 01110010 01101111 01110111 00100000 01110101 01110000 00100000 01110100 01101111 00100000 01100010 01100101 00100000 01110100 01101000 01100101 00100000 01100110 01101001 01110010 01110011 01110100 00100000 01110010 01101111 01100010 01101111 01110100 00100000 01100010 01100001 01100010 01111001 00101101 01110011 01101001 01110100 01110100 01100101 01110010….”

Stephanie:  “Please bring Erica back.  I believe the creators of this show when they say that our most important alliance is with the viewers - so be aware that other contestants think you don’t matter at all.  I won’t say who said those things, but it wasn’t Gene, Erica, Joy, Jeffrey, or Andrea.  Thank you for bringing Erica back!  Yay, slutty trip to Italy!”

Week 3 Twitter Summaries

Andrea:  “The Glass House is fully of hypocrites.  I am not one of them.  The fat man walks alone.  I miss my husband.  Blah blah blah.  If not for the Prop. 8 debate, no one would even know my name because I’m so fucking boring.  I should be kissing his ass for insuring that it’ll be at least a few more weeks before I fade into obscurity.”  The only thing about Andrea that is interesting is that we see that someone got a message to her in the house, giving her the Twitter ID that her husband created, because the ID she thought it was actually belongs to someone else.  That’s very sad, because there is no reason at all for ABC to have done that, and it strengthens my belief that they want to help her win.  Ugh.  (The Twitter ID in question can be found here.)

Ashley: “Yay, yay, yay!  This is so much fun!!!  Woo-hoo!  Yay, Glass House!…. People here are so disrespectful and rude to each other.  I’m going to vote against Jeffrey because three days ago, he called Andrea an idiot and he only apologized 400,000 times for it.  He’s so rude.  Yay, Friday!  I love everyone!”  Is ABC putting happy drugs in her water, say, every other day to keep it interesting?   

Apollo: “I am so zen, I just zened myself right off your TV.  Peace, love, and understanding.”

                                              

Erica: “Why should Holly get to be the only one who tweets constantly?  At least my tweets are coherent and entertaining.  Wow, the Glass House is boring.  Guess I should tweet some more.  Robin has lost her mind.”

Gene:  “I really like tagging celebrities and using made-up words like ‘showmance’, but I don’t really have anything interesting or important to say.”

Holly:  “PleaseletmeoutofLimboandbackinthehouse!Isowwy!Ibebetter!Voteforme!LoveMe!!!YAYAYAYYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYYAYAYAYAYAYYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I’MBACK!!!!!!!!!!!!ILOVEEEEEEtheViewers!!YakketyYakFansaretheBEST!!Istayhungry4thisgame&uallaremybackbone!YayGOD!!!I’MBACKI’MBACKI’MBACKI’MBACK!VOTEFORMEEEEEE!!!HAHAHAHAHALOOKATEVERYONELESED!DEARGOD,IWISHTHEREWERESOMETHINGTODOAROUNDHEREBESIDESTWITTER!!!!!!!!TWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEET!!!GODGODGOD!(I’MRELIGIOUS,TOO!)

Jeffrey: “Living with a Mormon is hard, but good thing we both like French Toast casserole.  Why are people more mad that I called Andrea and idiot than they are that she actively tries to oppress me?  I hate Ashley.  I love my mom.  Yay my friends!  Woo!”

Joy:  “I like food and my friends.”  

Kevin: “Seriously, I do not need Twitter to win this thing.”  

Just for contrast here, I would like to take a moment to point out that, despite being in limbo last week, Holly has 311 tweets, and Kevin has 21.  In three weeks.

Mike:  “Yes, I’m a liar, and as asshole. I am way better than all the other players.  I laugh at all the players that aren’t Kevin or Robin.”

Ori: “01010100 01101000 01100101 01110011 01100101 00100000 01101000 01110101 01101101 01100001 01101110 01110011 00100000 01100001 01110010 01100101 00100000 01110100 01101001 01110010 01100101 01110011 01101111 01101101 01100101” 

Robin: “I hate everyone in the this house, I hate playing the game, eff you all. Why am I here?  Political debates are so tiresome, and people who don’t like having their rights suppressed don’t deserve free speech.  Standing up for others makes you a bully.  Oh, but I love all both of my fans.  Hi, kids!”

Stephanie: “Mmmmmm, breakfast!  I love Joy, Jeffrey, and Erica.  Yay, nerds!  I'm so bored, I had Holly teach me The Worm.  And I'm making board games out of masking tape."

Week 2 Twitter Summary

Alex:  There are no tweets from Alex all week.  I’m worried this is a trick on ABC’s part to make us think he’s gone when he isn’t.  Either way, I mention him because he hasn’t been “officially” eliminated yet.

Andrea:  “I love my husband so much, I’m going to tell him to create a coded Twitter ID and hope that no one I know cracks the code and sets up that ID first.”  She also said that it’s sad when bad things happen to good people, which makes me think the characters may be showing interesting stories that ABC probably won’t air, unless it’s full of drama and bullshit. 

Apollo:  “I love everyone else in the house, still.  Except Gene, because he cheated when I was team captain and got me sent to limbo.  Eff you, Gene.  Blah, blah zen master, I have a real strategy and a fake strategy.  I will test your character and you will fail.  Just kidding, I love Gene and promised not to vote for him.”  Wait - what?  I thought you already promised to vote for the person who drew the four.  Does that mean Gene gets a pass if he doesn’t draw the four?  I’m so confused.  

Ashley:  “Woo-hoo!  It’s my birthday!  I love the show, I love my fans, watch, vote for me, and thanks for giving me easy words to spell.  You only fail by not trying, Jeffrey’s a good cook, and we’re going to play hide & seek now.”    Ashley also posted the following bizarre tweet, which I thought meant she was incredibly self-centered, but her friends tell me that was ABC screwing up.  Considering how they screwed up the tweets last week, I’m inclined to believe her friends.  See for yourself:

Erica:  “Don’t be fooled by what you see on TV.  I have an awesome body, and I know it.  Kevin has such powerful sperm that he can knock you up with a high-5.  Gene and I are going to have babies and sell them on eBay.  I love Gary Busey.”  Erica is actually way funnier than I am, so check her out yourself.  She also says that Stephanie is amazing and deserves to win, which reinforces my belief that someone (now, Stephanie) told a really good personal story that ABC probably won’t let us see.

Gene:  “I’m so glad that Ori told us the top five trending hashtags so I can throw them into all of my tweets in addition to random celebrity names, both to increase my exposure and piss people off.  I love women.  P.S. I didn’t cheat in the challenge.”

Holly:“WhatIwastryinglastweekdidn’tworksoheregoesnewstrategy:kjasduawiuajk;kladslkdjs;akl;sadfkl;ajdsklai;IrockedthisweekschallengenotlikedirtycheaterGenedsjrai;weriowaeru;aroiwstrategy0ioja;ajsdfvoteformeajlkdj;asjlastrategyaaweiraIloveJesus(heyitworksforAndreaWhyshouldshegetallthereligiousvotes?)kl;ajdl;laksdjfal;kfjakjvoteformestrategystrategyvotevotevotevotevote394paiu903ia;ofjai;fjdkls;kldsfmjla;sdfj poiaweu ;dfjkladsfasur09[3q uioa;ru90[3u ijoa;jVOTEFORMEICANHAZSTRATEGY!!” 

Seriously, she’s like a hyperactive puppy with ADD who’s been drinking Red Bull.  She has 258 tweets.  Most of the others have less than 100.  And Jeffrey and Mike combine for less than 50.

Jeffrey: “I’m super gay.  No, really.  SUPER gay.  And I'm fabulous.  ”

                

Joy: “I love my viewers.  I was in Playboy.  Everyone go look at naked pictures of me.”  

Kevin: “I don’t need Twitter to win this thing, so I’m not going to bother.”

Mike:  “I’m Irish.  I hate everyone in the house.”

Robin: “DO NOT MESS WITH ME, PEOPLE! I AM FREAKING EXHAUSTED AND I WILL EFF YOU UP!  P.S. Someone else needs to clean the bathroom for a change.”  Well, to be fair, I’d be pissed if I were getting no sleep and forced to clean a bathroom for 14 people who were given nothing but vegetables to eat for 24 hours.  I’m shuddering just thinking about it.

Stephanie:  “Wow, you guys like me!  My friends are watching!  I love the viewers!  I had an awesome day.  I finally opened up, and Jeffrey’s an awesome cook.”  See?  She did talk about something interesting.  After reading Starcasm and other blogs, I imagine that she told people what happened to her husband, which is super sad and makes me tear up every time I think about it.

Randomly, I love that Ori now has her very own Twitter feed as well.  Unfortunately, she hasn't really said anything of substance.

OK, also, like five of them mention Jeffrey’s french toast casserole so, while I’m doing this summary, my stomach is growling.  I’m starving.  

          




***UPDATE*** ABC runs the Twitter feed on a rather obnoxious delay, so all the interesting stuff was posted Saturday, despite the fact that they're sequestered on Fridays and no one was in the house over the weekend.  I mention this only so I can add the following interesting bits of information from the end of the week's feed.

• The players were definitely asked about their views on equality and letting people marry whoever they want.  Andrea alienated the entire gay community - and Kevin shot himself in the foot by siding with her.  It will be very interesting to see who votes for them next week, after the episode airs (if they show it).
• Erica and Stephanie tweeted in support of gay rights.  Jefrey didn't comment, other than to say Happy Pride.
• The players were forced to wear mittens for 24 hours, which makes doing everything more difficult.  Gene and Stephanie noted that it gives them more compassion for the disabled.  All liberal Kevin/Andrea fans switch to Gene/Stephanie.
• No tweets from Holly or Apollo, suggesting either that the other contestants murdered Holly and set Apollo up to take the fall, or both are in limbo.

Twitter Feed Recaps

As you probably know, ABC has given all the contestants their own Twitter feeds.  One fan kindly put them all on a list so we don't have to subscribe to all of them, for which I am eternally grateful.  Check it out:

https://twitter.com/#!/CLwGH/tghplayers

If you don't want to actually read them all, here's a summary of what the players have tweeted as of around 5:30 PM EST on June 15.

Alex

"Blah, blah, blah.  I'm a tool.  Nobody loves me, everybody hates me, guess I'll eat some worms.  Douche.  P.S.  I cut my finger."

Andrea

"Listen more, be patient, I don't like Dodgeball (boys are mean!).  I love my husband and my kids."

Apollo

Super happy to be on the show.  Loves his wife, loves his life, loves being on the show... kumbaya.   Claims we'll see drama when the show airs.  I hope he's right.

Ashley

"I love The Glass House, I love the fans, please vote for me.  Watch the show.  Hello, fans!  I have lots of fans.  Being on the show is wonderful."

Erica

Erica's tweets are actually funny, so you're better off reading them than my recaps.  Plus, they're all over the place, so I'm not sure I can.  I could copy paste them all, but that's lame.  Also, she has an animatronic cat named "Mr. Fluffles."

Gene

"I'm not going to say anything of any relevance or importance, but I will tag every celebrity I can think of so millions of people will see my tweets."

Holly

PleasevoteformeI'lldoanythingIhaveastrategyI'mplayingthegameFun!VoteforMe!Strategy!Yayfans!IwillsayanythingandIcan'tstoptalkingbecauseIthinkthatIwillgetmorevotesifItweetsomuchthatthefanscannotstopthinkingofmeIwillinvadeyourhomesandtakeoveryourchildVOTEFORME!!!WorddiarrheaBlahBlahBlahSomebodypleaseshutmeupI'mgoingtowin!!Ihavethebestgame!Yay!!!Vote!!Yay!!!

Jacob

"I REALLY REALLY REALLY love my girlfriend.  A lot."

Jeffrey

I really wish Jeffrey would tweet more, because his tweets give us a lot more of his personality than we see on the show.  My favorite?  "Hi Mom!  I hope you figured out Twitter."

Joy

"I love all the other players.... wait.  No, I don't.  Love yourself, live for yourself, kumbaya."  She must be friends with Apollo.  "Watch and vote."  She also comments on things happening in the house, in the way that they make no sense to me at all, but hopefully will on Monday.

Kevin

"Hi.  I'm on a TV show."

Mike

"What's Twitter?"

Robin

"Hello.... good-bye......good-night......good morning.... I love Holly.  I was mad at her, but I forgive her.  We have vegetables and champagne."  Robin seems to be the best at telling you what's actually going on, but ABC, naturally, won't let her reveal any real information.

Stephanie

"I am so smart.  Everyone else in here is so smart.  Let's all love each other, 'mmmkay?"  Her tweets imply that she thinks she'll be able to read our responses, because she asks about things like going commando or dying her hair.  I'm just not convinced that ABC will actually let her read our responses. I guess we'll see if she mentions it on the show at some point.  "Yes, after I got 10 replies, I successfully avoided panty lines."  She hasn't, as far as I can see, tweeted back to anyone.

None of them are following anyone, so I assume they can't, and I haven't seen any of them tweet replies, so I also assume they aren't allowed to see anything ABC doesn't want us to see.

And.... it's going to be a long weekend.