The Players

The Players

Current Players

Andrea	Mormon mother of three.  Thinks she’s really hot.  Thinks her husband is hotter. Campaigned with her children against gay rights.  Doesn’t understand why this makes her a terrible person. Sent to limbo v. Holly, who never had a chance. Will say anything to win this game.  Plays everyone.  Lies as necessary. Really weird relationship with Kevin. Expected to be sent to limbo v. Joy in week 7
Erica	Unemployed comedian currently living in Denver. Sleeps on leaky air mattress. Hilarious. Sent to limbo v. Robin early on.  No one was terribly surprised when she came back. Bizarrely and creepily obsessed with Kevin, despite the fact that he dumped her and humiliated her and, oh sent her to limbo right after making out with her.
Gene	Stuntman from Chicago. Litters tweets with popular hashtags and tagging celebrities. Weirdly obsessed with Joy, who is just not that into him. Accused of throwing two challenges - the footage strongly suggests he threw at least one of them, but it’s actually understandable strategy in his case. One of only two that does all the weird shit the viewers vote on. Extremely popular with the viewers.  Never been team captain, never been in limbo (as of today).
Jeffrey	Unemployed receptionist currently living in NY. Understandably hates Andrea for voting against his civil rights. Volunteered to go to limbo to send Mike home after throwing the challenge that week to save Stephanie.
Joy	Playboy model and single mother. Basks in Gene’s attentions because she gets more airtime that way.  Clearly has affection, but no romantic interest in him. Has been Team Captain, but not yet in limbo (for a few more days). As losing team captain week 7, will be in limbo against Andrea.
Kevin	Police officer from Toledo, single father from unfortunately young age (no word on the mother so far.  Oh, well.) Made out with Erica early on, then voted to send her to limbo the next day.  Won’t tell her that he doesn’t like her, because he prefers to lead her on, as he knows she will do anything to keep him around. Comes off rather douchey, because of the way he treats Erica. Has creepy crush on married Mormon Andrea. Erica sent him to limbo in retaliation.  No one blames her. Has said repeatedly that he doesn’t give a shit about the fans.  Way to make us feel good, Kevin.   Doesn’t really do the things the fans vote on.
Stephanie	Widowed scientist from Boston.   Super smart.  Literally, a genius. One of only two that does all the weird shit the viewers vote on. Tends to stay away from the drama - not a lot of screen time as a result. Team captain two weeks in a row, won both times.  Never sent to limbo.

Eliminated Players

Jacob	Model from Florida. Didn’t know where Oregon is, despite growing up there. Volunteered to be Team Captain during the first episode after being pressured into it by Alex. Quit week one after losing the challenge, because he missed his girlfriend.  Complete douche bag.
Alex	Bail bondsman from Texas.  Likes to call himself “PrimeTime 99” for no apparent reason (it rhymes with his last name, but that’s not a reason).  Total douchebag. Went insane during the first week.  Asked the viewers if he should be a villain, and took their response to mean he should walk around calling people fat. No idea what a villain is. - Such a complete jackass that the viewers voted to send him home week one, despite the fact that he was competing against no one.
Apollo	Unemployed, homeless poet, currently from Phoenix (maybe). Super smart. Helped bring the phrase “paranoid wackadoodle” into the Glass House after (correctly) accusing Gene of throwing the challenge Week 2. Team Captain Week 2.  Sent home by Holly after losing the challenge.
Robin	Sex blogger from Washington, D.C. The oldest female in the house at the beginning.   Seemed awesomely crazy in her video, but turned out to be weirdly crazy.   Has literal crazy pants in which she wrote crazy things on the inside. Team Captain Week 3.  Sent home by Erica after losing the challenge.
Ashley	Singer from New Orleans.  Moved to Texas after losing everything to Hurricane Katrina. Has a pretty voice, but is super annoying.  Tried to stir things up by talking about people behind their backs and creating drama. Very religious.  Thought allying herself with Mormon Andrea would help, but it didn’t. Team Captain Weeks 2-4.  Finally sent home by Kevin after her team lost a challenge.
Holly	“Retail” worker from Southern CA.  Probably works at Abercrombie, but could be American Eagle. Twitter diarrhea constantly.  Sent out incoherent tweet with astonishing quantity.  Once sent 67 tweets at once. Claimed degree in art history, couldn’t name any artists.  Now claims degree in psychology - only psychologist she knows is Dr. Phil Tried new strategy every week.  Finally decided to be super religious, since it seemed to be working for Andrea.  Claimed to speak Arameic, but doesn’t know any of the words. Team Captain weeks 4-5.  Sent home week 5 by Andrea.
Mike	Bar mitzvah D.J. from Boston.   Oldest player in the house at the beginning. Complete jackass.  Does nothing but talk about how the other players talk about people behind their backs while talking about them behind their backs. Doesn’t understand irony or hypocrisy. Makes up weird stories and thinks it’s funny to joke about how he’s going to die soon. Team Captain Weeks 5-6.  Sent home Week 6 by Jeffrey, who clearly masterminded the whole thing.