Live Feed - Monday, July 16, Part 1

• Everyone wanders into the living room for the live feed.  There are so many fewer than there were before!
• Ori asks them whether they’d rather have Holly or Andrea back, or why.
• Erica: I don’t think she wants either of them back.  She hates them both.  She says that she would rather see Andrea come back, so I’m not sure why she voted for her.  Do any of these people understand how to play this game?
• Joy:  Wants Andrea back.  I didn’t hear why.  I’m annoyed with her two.
• Kevin: He’s been in love with Andrea from day one. What do you think he said?
• Stephanie:  She goes into the bedroom to tell people that she was told in #Fanswers to keep people different from her in the house, and Holly is more different from her than Andrea.  Stephanie also says that Mike and Kevin can’t even fathom the possibility of Holly returning, and they’ve been saying so much awful stuff about her since the minute she left, so it would be much, much better for Holly to return.
• Gene:  He also goes into private.  He tells us that he voted for Kevin, because his #Fanswer told him, too.  I think he was smart enough to know that Stephanie wasn’t in danger either way.  Gene tells us that Andrea is incredibly two-faced.  We all know that.  Gene also wants Holly back because Mike and Kevin are such incredibly smug assholes.
• Jeffrey:  Doesn’t care at all.  He does mention that Andrea left half her clothes before, because she’s so confident she’ll be back.  Fuck you, Andrea.  Vote for Holly!
• Mike:  He wants Andrea.  Duh.  He’s an idiot, because he could beat Holly, but he can’t beat Andrea.  God, I hope she doesn’t come back.
• We see the tweets from viewers.  My favorite is the person who says to bring Holly back because everyone is so sure it’ll be Andrea.
• Ori is sending them all to Glass House U?  This sounds like a good time to go to the bathroom…First, I take a moment to vote that the other women are not jealous of Holly.
• Ori tells them that they have to wear togas.  They all seem pretty excited about the toga party.
• Yeah, they’re making their own togas.  Time to brush my teeth….
• Mike talks about being naked under the toga, so I bleach my brain.
• I like that Gene wrapped a crown of grape leaves around his hat.
• The live feeds just aren’t the same without Andrea looking pissed and refusing to participate.  Bring back Holly!
• Ori asks them if they’ve ever been to a toga party. 
• Jeffrey, Erica, and Kevin say no.  Ori, “That is apparent.”  
• Mike says that he’s the only one who is old enough.  That’s bullshit, Mike, because I’ve been to a toga party, and I’m half your age.  Anyway, sounds like no one else has as exciting a college life as I did.  I wonder if that means they were more successful at avoiding accidental public nudity than I was.
• Erica looks like a Grecian goddess.
• Ori asks them what they think Holly actually studied?
• Jeffrey:  Bikini 101?
• Erica thinks it might have been cosmetology.
• Mike says that he believes that she majored in psychology.  Maybe she didn’t do well, but that really was her major.  He makes a good point - the fact that you *majored* in something doesn’t mean that you learned it.  
• Erica doesn’t think Holly was stupid.  Gene says, “Yeah, it’s pretty smart to pay someone to do your work.”  Well, that would explain how she got a degree without knowing anything about psychology.
• In the bathroom, we missed most of what Steph said, but we cut in on her saying that Holly couldn’t name a psychologist other than Dr. Phil.  She resumes fixing her toga.  I think she thinks we stopped watching her, but she’s in her bra, so, naturally, ABC is trying to drum up a few extra viewers.  Thanks, ABC, but I can see a woman in a bra any time I want.  Maybe show me something else?  No, not Kevin’s chest.  Jackass. 
• Ori asks if they thought Alex was coming back and how they would have felt.
• Stephanie thought it was just the #Fanswers.  She said that, as soon as he entered, she asked if he was rejoining the competition, and he couldn’t answer.  Steph doesn’t think he’s as evil as some people think - he just is a terrible villain.
• Erica thinks that Alex is a fucking jackass and she’s mad that he was there.  She’s a perfectly normal size.  She has a beautiful figure (I said that, not her).
• Jeffrey didn’t think he was staying, because he was being deliberately vague about what he was doing there.  Plus, if he’d come back, he would have been voted out again.
• Mike did think he was coming back.  Apparently, Alex entered and insulted Erica before apologizing.  Mike says that, while the house is divided, if Alex had come back, they would have reunited in their efforts to send him out again.  Mike reminds us that everyone agreed to shun Alex if he’d come back.  They all agree that Holly would have forgotten to shun him first. 
• Kevin thought for a moment that Alex was coming back to spice things up.  
• Gene never thought he was coming back.  He saw Alex and thought, “Oh!  He’s here for #Fanswers and to create drama!”  
• Would you rather eat a bag of friend scorpions or let Alex back in the house?
• Stephanie likes weird food.
• Gene hasn’t experienced scorpions, but he has experienced Alex, and that left quite a bad taste in his mouth.
• Mike would make Alex eat the scorpions.
• Erica would eat the scorpions. 
• Ori tells them that there’s a bag in her drawer.  That’s awesome.

                                         

• If I make it until midnight, I’ll be surprised.  Long day.
• We have to vote on whether the players should drink a keg of cheap beer or jungle juice.  I’m not even sure I know what jungle juice is.  Someone save me the trouble of Googling it.  Does a keg of cheap beer = more kissy face?  
• What’s your worst school experience?
• Mike:  He’s just going to lie.  
• Jeffrey: This is the story we heard previously about his one and only fistfight.
• Gene:  Playing basketball, he dunked, and he shattered the backboard.  Oops.  It showered down on him after he hit the floor.  He thought he was OK, but he had a crazy head wound.  Ick.  He had to cut all his hair, then sit in the shower all day, washing the glass off, and he’s all scarred now.  We hear Ori open a beer.
• Stephanie:  She had a girls v. boys playground challenge.  She was a kid when kids were allowed to play and fall and hurt themselves.  Man, I bet being a kid now sucks. You have to be wrapped in bubble wrap all the time.  Anyway, she won the challenge, because the boy fell, nearly giving himself a concussion.
• Kevin:  Knocking up his high school girlfriend probably sucked.  Oh, wait.  He says that he started his freshman year at a new high school.  Dude, everyone does that.  That’s called “being a freshman.”
• Joy:  She wants us to believe that she used to be awkward and ugly.  Uh-huh.  Even ABC doesn’t believe her, because the live feed hiccups…. How did this story become losing her virginity at 15?  Ok.  I guess that she blossomed, people started being nice, and she slept with the one guy who was nice to her, and he must have told the entire school, because everyone started calling her a slut and being awful to her.  She had to switch schools again.  That’s so sad!  
• Erica: In the second grade, her teacher said not to leave their seats “unless their ears were bleeding.”  She was afraid to get up to go to the bathroom and wound up peeing her pants.  Then, she pretended that she spilled her apple juice (but I don’t think they believed her).
• Ori tells them that the viewers sent them refreshments - Jungle Juice!  They’re all excited.  Erica says they should roofie it, just like in college.  Awesome.  
• Joy says that it’s delicious.
• Apparently, they don’t know what’s in it either, and it’s literally a giant cooler full of punch.  They’re using one cup to fill another.  Stephanie gives some to Ori.
• Joy drew a heart around Gene’s nipple.  Huh.
• They’re making straws out of their licorice?  Yeah… it’s time for bed.
• They move into talking about Greek mythology.
• Ori asks them about their most important college romance.
• Stephanie’s was her first boyfriend.  They bonded over mice brains?  Huh.  Ok.  They worked in a lab together doing research and stuff.  That makes sense.  I’m OK with that.
• Erica says that she met the guy in high school, but they dated for four year after that, and he was her first real love - also possibly her only love.  She made a huge mistake and cheated on him during a rough patch, and he’s always regretted it.  I hope he’s watching and he forgives her and they can run away and make love and puppies together.
• After Erica’s story, they get bar food.  They’re pretty excited by it.
• Mike had lots of one-night stands in college.  Now, he’s telling a story that I believe is the plot of a Nicholas Sparks novel.  We’ll know, if she dies at the end.
• Jeffrey fell for a straight boy.  That’s so sad.  Poor Jeffrey.
• Kevin had to quit college to get a job because he had a child when he was way too young.  But, he dated a woman when he was young that turned him off living with anyone else ever again.  Wow.  So, you’re going to punish all women, forever, and live alone, because of one bad experience?  I can only imagine what everyone would say if a girl did that.
• Gene apparently picked up a random wrong number via text message, and they dated for 2.5 years.  Huh.
• Joy’s best relationship was with the father of her daughter, and it was wonderful, even though they grew apart as they got older.
• They go back to talking about mythology while eating junk food and drinking.  Nothing to see here, folks.
• I go to do other things, and I swear I hear them talking about “Asbestos.”  But, I’m thinking I misheard them, because Holly’s not in the room.
• I wish I were drunk, too.  9:00 am isn’t too early to start drinking, is it?
• Stephanie tells some story about how, in third grade, she was supposed to write an original story, but she’d never heard the word before, so she was trying to figure out the word roots and the origins of the word, and she thought that meant a really old story, so she ended up retelling a story about Abe Lincoln.  Erica, “That’s the smartest way to do something stupid that I’ve ever heard.”  Awesome.
• Ori sends them into the yard to participate in a special event.  They’re free to bring food and drink.  Apparently, they’re forming a debate team.
• Erica is as excited about going out there for a debate as I would be if Ori announced that the cast of Magic Mike was performing out there.
• One by one, Ori is going to tell them what to debate, and they have to pick someone else as a debate opponent.   She says to pick someone with an opposite view, but it would actually be better to pick someone with the same view and get them to debate the opposite.  Oh, well.  There is no one left awake watching to vote on who won.
• Kevin is debating marijuana.  “What’s the issue?”  He picks Mike, because he knows the guy has a differing point of view.  Mike calls Kevin a “Master Debater”.  Niiiiiice.
• No one wants to read a summary of people they don’t care about engaging in a debate on things that will never be affected by this particular debate.
• After they finish debating, all the other players weigh in.  I’ll be honest - I don’t care what they think, either.
• Jeffrey is debating “under God” in the pledge with Gene.  It’s a good thing he didn’t choose me to do the opposing viewpoint, because I’m not sure I could argue the opposing view with a straight face.  Jeffrey, apparently, wants to expand the pledge to list all possible deities?  Wow, that’s a long pledge.  I’m not sure I would want to say it.  Gene asks for clarification before he refutes Jeffrey’s stance, because he has no idea what Jeffrey said.  That’s great.  
• If I vacuum during the live feed, it’s still like I’m watching it, right?  I mean, it’s on, and it’s playing, even if I can’t hear it.
• Debating would have been way more interesting if Holly were still around.
• Randomly, I love that I’m watching twelve live stream videos titled “Live Steam.”  It’s rare for a typo to amuse me, but I appreciate the consistency here.
• Erica says that jungle juice makes Stephanie a fucking genius.  She’s a smart cookie all the time, Erica.  I think we should say, “One nation, resting on top of Hell, indivisible…”
• Stephanie is debating animal testing with Joy.  She’s a scientist, so I can guess what she’ll say.  Plus, she already told that story about mouse brains earlier.
• HAHAHA.  Gene goes off on how you should value all life, and can’t value whales or dolphins over mice.  Ori says, “How was the chicken, Gene?”  That’s amazing.  I love Ori.
• Erica chooses to debate with Kevin about Social Networking sites.  She likes them, and he doesn’t.  Raise your hand if you don’t care.  We’re forced to use Facebook?  Huh.  Shut up, Kevin.  After his long rant, he says, “I’m over it.”  Erica, “You get over things quickly, don’t you, Kevin?”  I adore her.
• Ok, folks.  We’re at the halfway point, and I need to take a walk to preserve the remaining fragments of my sanity.