We start where last week left off, with Andrea and Kevin going down the tubes. Stephanie tells us that they didn’t want to put Mike in limbo, because they didn’t want to give him immunity next week, and they’re hoping he’ll be Team Captain. Mike tells us that they’re targeting Gene next, and Andrea confirms it. As soon as Kevin goes down the tubes, Andrea starts sucking up to Joy. In confessional, she tells us that she would ditch her alliance in a heartbeat to win the game. She’s desperately trying to get Joy on her side. Joy says that it’s ultimately up to the viewers, not her. Cut to Mike, telling Holly that he would allow Stephanie into their alliance if they needed to increase their numbers. Holly says that Gene is playing everyone. Then, Mike trashes everyone else.
In the living room, Ori tells the players that we have voted to have Gene and Jeffrey swap clothes for 24 hours. Jeffrey, “At least it’s physically possible.” That’s a really weird outcome. Why not something like Andrea and Joy? Holly and Gene? That would be funny. Anyway, Jeffrey comes out in one of Gene’s hats, and Gene is wearing Jeffrey’s clothes, complete with wig and huge pink sunglasses. Gene tells us that the glasses match his socks. It’s hilarious.
Next, we see Stephanie on the exercise bike as Andrea tries to convince her to turn on Gene. Steph can tell that Andrea smells like desperation. Cut to Steph, Erica, and Joy spooning and discussing what a sneaky bitch Andrea is, and how she and Holly are going to work to break up their group. Then, they go outside, where they’re talking to Gene about his “lone man” status. Erica doesn’t like that Gene won’t commit to a vote upfront, even if he’s voting the way they’re asking him to. I can see both sides on this one. He’s keeping his word. If he has his reasons for wanting to hold his vote close to the vest, as long as he comes through in the end, there’s no need to doubt it. They have the numbers. They shouldn’t be freaking out.
Back in the kitchen, Stephanie tells everyone why it’s better to have Ashley back. Erica calls her a phony. Why is she wearing sunglasses inside at night? This somehow turns into them confronting Holly about telling Andrea and Ashley that she’s jealous of them and they should work out more. Holly denies it, then we see the video clip of her saying it, and then Jeffrey tells her that Andrea said she said it. Holly goes from “caught in a lie” to on the offensive instantly. She starts screaming that they’re all jealous of her for being so beautiful. Stephanie looks mildly amused at the ridiculous things coming out of Holly’s mouth. Joy tells Holly that the things she’s saying are ridiculous. Cut to Andrea, standing alone, whispering, “This is what happens when you drink too much.” That’s funny. I don’t know whether Holly is drinking today. Anyway, after Holly gets called out for calling all the other fat and saying that they’re just jealous of how beautiful she is(n’t), she gets very upset that the others inform her that it’s a load of crap. I personally would rather look like Erica or Stephanie than Holly. Her face looks like a foot, and that body won’t last forever. I had that body at 21, too. Anyway, Holly stomps off to bed, and we go to commercial.
When we return, Holly is bitching to Andrea about how the other girls are so jealous of her. She says some bullshit about how she had to turn her “I <3 Jesus” hat around because of everyone else’s negativity and jealousy. The hat was backward before the argument started. The Irony Fairy explodes and dies as Holly calls Erica an idiot. Joy comes in to talk to Holly. It sounds like she actually wants to discuss the issue, and things are going OK, until Mike butts in and starts swearing and yelling at Joy. She gets upset, understandably, and tells him to stop cursing at her and acting like a child. Holly is trying to take focus off Mike by sending Mike away, so she and Joy can talk. Joy is on FIRE! Gene tried to calm her down, and she just shook him off and stalked away. In the bathroom, she’s crying, and Andrea comes over to apologize for Mike and hug her. Of course she did. Andrea tells Erica that she just wants to support and defend Joy and Holly both and she doesn’t know what to do. Erica tells Andrea that she doesn’t trust her, and if this is her trying to play the game, it’s not going to work. Andrea looks pissed, but she’s so sneaky, how can she blame them for not trusting her. Also, when Erica said that she didn’t trust her, she just rolled her eyes, which is not the reaction of someone who is really surprised or offended at a comment.
In the backyard, Gene is lying on the grass. Joy goes to apologize for brushing him off. They snuggle, so it appears that he accepted her apologies.
The next morning, we find that Gene and Joy are in the Friends room, and Jeffrey and Andrea are in the Enemies room (again). Gene offers to sleep on the floor, but says that he will snuggle until time to sleep. Joy promises not to try to seduce him. I suspect she is not being 100% truthful.
In the living room, Erica is telling Jeffrey that she doesn’t trust Andrea. Cut to Andrea, bitching to Mike and Holly about Erica. Gee, I wonder why Erica doesn’t trust her? Cut to Joy and Gene, snuggling in the Friends room. Joy puts a pillow over them and says, “It’s our little secret.” They’re kissing!! Then, she builds a “Weiner Wall” with pillows to protect Gene from accidentally taking her virtue in the middle of the night (or something). The next morning, they’re all snuggly and cute.
In the confessional, Andrea tells us what everyone knows, which is that she has the best show in the game with Kevin by her side. We watch Ashley and Kevin come up the tubes, and Ashley slides back down, screaming, “Live is good! God is good! Good luck!” Ew. Andrea and Mike are delighted to see Kevin back. No one else is that happy. In confessional, Erica says that it seems pointless to try to convince the viewers to vote Kevin out. Immediately, he goes to Mike, Andrea, and Holly to talk about how they always need to take the high road, and not be like everyone else. I guess taking the high road involves things like kicking Joy and Steph out of the room when they enter, making out with Erica and ditching her AGAIN, and basically talking shit about the other players behind their backs all the time. Oh, yes, Kevin. I’ve seen the live feeds.
Cut to Jeffrey, talking to Kevin and Mike about any suggestions that they might have, keeping the lines of communication open, and telling them that he has no problems with them. We then see him and Erica in the kitchen, with Stephanie, talking about how that was fun. After all, Andrea did the same thing to them. Erica tells Jeffrey no more kissy-face.
Time to reveal the Team Captains. I love Stephanie’s shirt. The Captains are Holly and Mike (of course). Kevin is not happy. He can’t figure out why the viewers don’t like them. Could it be because you’re complete assholes? Did you ever stop to think that maybe the viewers see more than you think they do? Holly is disappointed to be Team Captain again. She’s worried that she values her relationship with the viewers more than they do. In any relationship, Holly, one partner cares more. Mike says that he’s willing to take TeamAwesome, because Holly did it last week. Holly agrees, for obvious reasons. In the kitchen, Gene is asking if they’re going to throw another Hail Mary and try to get one of them kicked out of the house again. It’s their only play, but it didn’t really work for them last week. Erica says that she’s annoyed that Team WackaDoodle is monopolizing so much of Kevin’s time, as she really enjoys looking at him, and she can’t.
With 17 minutes remaining, they head into the challenge. I still think we need two episodes a week. Mike chose Gene, Erica, and Jeffrey. Holly chose Andrea, Mike, and Stephanie. She’s a fucking moron. Does she remember last week at all? Anyway, Joy was the last man standing, and she chose Team Mike. I imagine that was to help ensure a victory and force two people on the other team into limbo. The challenge involves a slingshot and a windmill. They’re using catapults to shoot balls at glass windmills. It seems like the team with an extra person would have a pretty obvious advantage. Andrea tells us that she’s sure she’s going to limbo if her team loses. I’m not so sure. Holly team was kicking butt when they were using catapults, but halfway through the game, Ori tells them that they can switch to slingshots. Mike missed the memo that his team was supposed to lose, because he starts killing the other team with the slingshot. On Holly’s team, Andrea has not the slightest clue how to even load the slingshot. I think Mike just deliberately sent Holly home. He’s ecstatic to have won. Andrea is less happy. Holly doesn’t look thrilled, either. I think she knows she’s going home.
We see Andrea and Holly talking about limbo. Mike tells them that it’s a bittersweet victory. You were supposed to lose, dickweasel. I guess I should be glad that the alliance of assholes is so incompetent. Cut to Erica, Jeffrey, Stephanie, and Joy talking about who to send to limbo. Erica thinks it’s a dick move to send Kevin again. Jeffrey doesn’t want to give Andrea immunity from being Team Captain next week, because he thinks she’s more likely to be in the bottom two than Kevin is. Cut to Andrea freaking out. She’s crying, because she wants to go home. Let’s help her!
Poor Erica still likes Kevin. She can’t help it. I feel bad for her. She’s asking if he wants another week in limbo to give him immunity next week. He says that he doesn’t care. We saw this on Wednesday - he went straight to Andrea and Mike with it. Whatever. Ori calls them all into the living room, and Alex comes up the tubes with a giant duffle bag. Erica is furious, because “You only bring a bag if you’re staying!” Calm down, sweetie. He’s probably just handing out the #Fanswers. We head to commercial with 8 minutes left.
The good news is, I can now say “Alex is a douche,” which I haven’t gotten to say in awhile. Alex is a douche. He starts by apologizing. He then tells them that the viewers told him to be a jackass. He’s only there to give them their #Fanswers. I totally called it. Jeffrey is told that it would not be a jerk move to send someone to limbo two weeks in a row. There’s a weird cut to a picture. Huh. Joy’s answer is Gene. She says that she asked if she should vote for Gene or Kevin. Stephanie is told that we would rather see Sneaky Andrea in limbo than Shady Kevin. We don’t see the rest, and everyone is very happy to wave good-bye to Alex.
Mike tells us that, shockingly, he’s voting for Steph again. Uh-huh. Everyone is astounded. We see Gene throw his rock at Kevin. Erica votes for Andrea. Huh. Looks like everyone else voted for Andrea. That’s surprising. She heads for limbo, and I hurry to go vote for Holly to come back. In the previews for next week, we see that Erica tried to snuggle with Kevin again, and, instead of asking her to leave, he sends Stephanie to remove her from his bed. Niiiiiice, Kevin. Trying to be a bigger douche than Alex?
No comments:
Post a Comment