Live Stream - Monday, June 18, Part 2
- Nothing is happening. Kevin tells his daughter to go to bed. Since it’s after 1:00 am in Ohio, that’s probably a good idea.
- Ashley tells everyone to vote, tweet, and read their tweets. Erica suggests that we ignore her tweets, smile and nod, because they’re lunacy (her words, not mine).
- They take a smile break, but then they say the beer is warm. I would not be smiling if my beer was warm.
- Joy is making “nachos”, which seems to entail putting American cheese on tortilla chips. I’m feeling vaguely nauseated.
- Since no one is decorating cakes, Oracle asks if they’re done and asks the viewers to vote. Oracle is getting hungry. They have to name their cakes so the viewers can vote. I think what Stephanie is trying to think of is, “The cake is a pi!”, but I don’t know if she’ll get there.
- Jeffrey is upset about something that happened in a room with someone, but no one says what. Too bad, because that would be WAY MORE INTERESTING than watching Stephanie peel carrots.
- Ashley’s cake is “Mardi Gras Mania.” I would have called it “Mardi Gras Barfed Everywhere and then Exploded.”
- There’s also a “limbo bimbo cake,” “Chocolate Clouds” and “This cake is made of pi.” They put it on a pizza. Huh. Stephanie and Mike tell everyone they’re going for the nerd vote. Apollo says that east coast fans are dedicated, or that they work the night shift. The pi cake wins.
- Erica wants to start asking famous people on dates. I’m not sure where that came from.
- I zone out, because nothing is happening. When I start paying attention again, they’re dancing on packing peanuts in the living room. They’ve decided to play a game of some sort. Oh, they’re playing beach ball volleyball. I do not need to watch this. If you’re super interested in reading about people playing volleyball… I feel a little sorry for you. Send me a message, and we’ll work on getting you a life.
- Oracle asks them to share another personal story. We vote on fondest childhood memory vs. what they would do on best day ever. Had I been awake, I would have voted for best day ever. Gene says he’s spent the past few years planning his best day ever instead of working on his abs. Ha!
- Dr. Fluffles is back!! Woo-hoo! He apparently likes beach ball volleyball. Stephanie is cooking butter and onions. Erica says there is nothing bad about butter and onions… with carrots and parsley? I’m hoping there is more to this meal, but we’ll see.
- Someone breaks some glass. Oops.
- Apparently, they’re all walking around telling the camera who they want to see back, but we only saw Stephanie. Ashley says that she doesn’t want any of them back, and she’d like to see a double elimination.
- Best Day Ever! - What would you do?
- Andrea: She thinks the live feeds are the most awkward things in the world for her. Not just for you, sweetie. Her best day entails being somewhere tropical, under the sun, snorkeling, being with her family… this all sounds rather nice, actually. She’d like to see a baseball game with an all-you-can-eat section. That would freaking rule!! I want to do that! Then, she wants to…. visit the airport, I guess. Watching planes take off and land. That’s less fun. Kinda lame. I’m starting to think the viewers don’t really like Andrea.
- Stephanie asks Ori to maybe pull names randomly and not always go in alphabetical or reverse alphabetical order.
Hopefully, the videos will be fixed soon, because I would like to hear the rest of their planned best days ever. My best day ever involves buckets of cash, and maybe marrying Prince William.... which I guess would include buckets of cash, so that's good.
Yay! The fixed the video! Ok, here goes nothing with the rest:
- Apollo: Unfortunately, it looks like there was a problem with the cuts in the video, so I have no idea what Apollo’s perfect day is. I can only tell you that he wants to get hyped up, and he’s sweeping. I assume those two things are unrelated.
- They’re all talking about the glass and stuff. Ori informs us that the viewers think Apollo’s story was “not bad.” Sounds like I didn’t miss much.
- Ashley: When she whens, she wants to go to Barbados with her friends and family and her boyfriend. Can’t argue with that. She tells the rest of the cast that they are completely invited… as long as they pay for themselves. Niiiiiice. As they wait for results, they take a smile break. “Kinda lame.”
- Erica: Best day starts with a velour sweatsuit and t-bone steak in bed. Her hero… Louie CK? Should I know who that is? Anyway, they go to a biker bar and buy a house together, and it’s totally OK that he’s married. They create a kitten room with a chocolate fountain. A winged pegasus comes, and they ride off into the sunset. The pegasus goes surfing….into the sunset? Is she high? OMG, the cat just meowed. I’m suddenly a little afraid of Erica. Is there an option to vote for that? “Really good.”
- Gene: His perfect day includes the ability to say awake for 24 hours. I can respect that. A limo takes him to a private limo with Jay Z and Warren Buffet. They take a plane to talk business, then a helicopter takes them sky surfing. He drops onto a mountain, snowboards, and gets some awesome penis mobile where he goes to a club to the Isle of Mann (did he drive there?) Then, he’d fly to Vegas and party until 5 am, jet to the beach, and watch the sunrise. He’ll then see the girl of his dreams and fall in love. That sounds exhausting. Why not sleep on the plane?
- Ori: “The question was, ‘best day ever, not best week ever.’” I love her. She tells Gene that the viewers think his day would be “really good.”
- Holly: Standing alone in the bedroom. The best day ever is the day she wins. So, now she’s just talking about how she wants to win, she’ll use the money to help her family and pay for college, and she wants to donate the money to cancer research. Why not just make the best day ever a day where she cures cancer? Then, she’d have way more than $250k. And there would be no cancer. This is the second time she’s mentioned this, though, so I’m starting to wonder if one of her friends or relatives was recently diagnosed. The camera is just following her around, and it’s weird. She starts talking again, and Ori cuts her off. “Kinda lame.” “I’m just being real!”, she pouts.
- I thought I accidentally muted the feed, but it sounds like Ashley just started singing Happy Birthday to herself, so they turned off the mikes. Seriously, how much can the royalties be?
- Jeffrey: On his friend’s farm, near Halloween, spooky hay ride, favorite band performs, they all put on costumes and put on a show. That’s really cute. Apparently, he wants to convert a bar to a cabaret show. And, in Jeffrey’s mind, a “day” is the same as a “three-day weekend.” That’s OK. Gene got a whole week. And Ori doesn’t get all snarky with him. “Really good,” she tells us.
- Joy: “Anything that would put a huge smile on my daughter’s face.” But then she says Disney World, so that’s not anything. I wonder if she gets paid for saying “Disney” like 50 times. That best day sounds awesome, though. I like Disney World. I wouldn’t even mind if Kevin and Samara were hanging out with me. “Really good.”
- Kevin: Classic, mid-west fall day. Sleeps late, Jeffrey makes his breakfast, they play games and eat a lot. Teams play sports. Then, he spends the rest of the day with his daughter and they watch a romantic comedy. “Really good.”
- Mike: Unlike the others, his best day is without his kids. He’s partying with Nelson Mandala, Ghandi, and Martin Luther King (Junior, I assume, although he didn’t say so), and they do a lot of drugs. MLK wins a wet sari contest? What? I’m going to stop recapping when Mike talks. “Really good”? Are the viewers high?
- Robin: Wakes up sleeping on her “honey”… or possibly Shemar Moore. Mmmmmmmm…. I can definitely get on board with that. Heeeyyyyyy. I miss what she says for about 30 seconds, because I’m having dreamy thoughts of Agent Derek Morgan. YUM. Ok, sorry. She gets sushi and a limo. She requests a stuntman, DJ, and police escort. She and her best friend go to Jimmy Choos, then they enter Heaven so she can introduce her children to their grandparents. I guess she doesn’t want to wish her parents to be alive.
- Robin calls for a smile break. That is so bizarre and creepy. “Kinda lame.”
- Stephanie: Her ultimate goal is to be a wife and a mom. So, she would wake up with her family, and Carla from the Chew made her breakfast. The whole family eats with Carla, and then they get asked to appear on Mythbusters, because they’re all nerdy. Then, they have a fabulous five-course dinner and the children don’t fight. Someone else cooking for you and no fighting kids all day? That does sound like an awesome day. “Really good.”
- Joy tells us that she thinks Busta Rhymes is hot. I barely know who that is.
- They’re just finishing making dinner. Erica hugs Ashley, who sounds like she’s crying, but may just be laughing. Erica says that she wants to give Ashley immunity this week. Just for having a birthday? What? Now, I hope it doesn’t end up Ashley v. Erica. That would be so sad!
- They all do shout-outs to people I don’t know, so I don’t feel like repeating them.
- Robin, Kevin, and Apollo are standing in a bedroom, but I couldn’t figure out what they were talking about before Ori welcomed the West Coast viewers. Are we only at 11 pm PST? So there’s an hour left? Man, this is long.
- Ori informs them that one of the players quit the game after going to limbo, and the viewers are voting on whether that person should return. That’s not true, though - we’re voting on whether the other person should return. It sounds like they all think it’s Jacob.
- They get excited at the prospect of a double elimination and Erica suggests a conga line.
- Mike reminds them that Jacob gave up early on.
- Seriously, Holly has giant boobs. Sometimes, all I can do is stare at them. I have no idea what she’s saying, but she’s saying it with giant boobs.
- Erica would like to exchange Jacob or Alex for Gary Busey. Well, who can blame her?
- Andrea tells us that Jacob was worried that his girlfriend wasn’t going to be there when he got home. Dude, if she’s going to leave you because you went away for ten weeks to try to win enough money to buy her a nice place to live? Seriously? She’s a bitch, and you’re better off without her. If you even have a reason to think she would do that - she’s a bitch, and you’re better off without her. Jeffrey said that Jacob had a “givey-uppy face” when he went down the tube. That is my new favorite word.
- Erica shows us a bruise Jacob gave her in dodgeball with a koosh ball. Dude, that sucks.
- I want a giant, random red swirly thing in the middle of my living room. I’m happy to give up my furniture to get one.
- Gene insists that the show starts at 7:00 pm in California. Andrea is using The Bachelorette to explain why he’s wrong. She’s right, but I’m wondering why this conversation is something I need to see. There is nothing more interesting going on?
- They’re all hoping that Alex realized that he’s a complete tool, and he’s the one who quit. Poor guys. They’re going to be really disappointed.
This video cuts out. My math tells me that there should be another half hour or so. We’ll see if I can find it.
***Finally! The final 45 minutes!- Gene says that, if Alex quit, they all win.
- Andrea is speculating on whether ABC told us, the viewers, who quit. They did, but there is no way for me to convey that information to you. And it’s too late, because I imagine Alex is back by now (or not). I’m annoyed that we don’t know, because, if he wasn’t part of the challenge they did last night, it’s all effed up.
- Jeffrey laughs, because he realizes that “the fat gay guy beat that jerk!” He’s very excited, especially because it’s on national television.
- They all gather together to make sure Kevin has enough to eat. Apparently, Jeffrey made spaghetti, and Mike ate three servings. He didn’t wait to see if anyone else wanted to eat, first? They’re literally scraping the bottom of the pan to get something resembling a serving for Kevin.
- And…. we segue into TMI as the women start discussing menses coordinating to put all the women on the same cycle, and birth control, and who sets the schedule. Erica tells us that she doesn’t need birth control because she’s not “getting laid.” But… wait. Then why does she say on Thursday that she misses sex? Sounds like she’s not having any, anyway.
- They have bubble wrap! This is...exactly as much fun as you would think it would be to watch someone pop bubble wrap. Erica turns it into a cape.
- We’re back to talking about who quit. Since I know the answer, this is not entertaining. Ori tells Erica that she’s not allowed to wear her fancy bubble wrap cape of awesomeness.
- Ori calls them into the living room to discuss what’s going on in the world today. The viewers vote on Rodney King’s death v. Google says governments are making more requests for user’s data.
- HAHAHAHAHA. Erica says she hates living in a society where we’re always being watched.
- This is a short discussion. They all say, “Wow. That’s sad.” Honestly, I’m not sure there’s that much else to say.
- Andrea says it’s ironic, but can’t really elaborate. I believe she just said that he was drunk driving. Ok, they’re discussing the riots. Most of them don’t remember what happened, so Mike explains. Mike insists that Rodney King was high on PCP at the time of the beating.
- Kevin explains that, naturally, we never saw what happened before the beating. He says that, at some point, they lost control.
- Apollo asks how society has changed. Lots more internet. Robin pointed out that her white daughters have never been shot on the way to school for wearing a hoodie. Ashley says people are still racist. Joy defends the police.
- Jeffrey says that he thinks that racism and homophobia will always exist on some level. Sadly, I think he’s right. I thought I heard Andrea disagree, which made me chuckle.
- Gene throws out a racist joke that I can’t quite bring myself to retype. It’s OK, though, because he’s black. (Gene said it, not me. Please don’t hate me.)
- Joy brings up Jena 6 for the third time. I guess she really wants screen time but doesn’t have anything else to contribute. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jena_Six
- Gene tells us that he gets pulled over when driving constantly. He does appear to be driving while black. He claims to have been pulled over roughly 600 times and never getting a ticket. It makes me sad to think that he’s probably not really exaggerating.
- Apollo brings up that bullshit law in Arizona where you can be stopped and forced to produce ID just because you’re Mexican-looking. Robin then claims that she’s been randomly selected for airport screening twice because she looks Middle-Eastern. I call bullshit. Robin looks WHITE, dude. She’s one of the whitest people in the house. If she’s getting randomly selected, it’s either because she flies a lot (increasing the odds), or she just has bad luck. Joy also says that’s silly.
- Jeffrey tells us that all of the people “randomly” stopped and checked in the subway are black. That makes me sad.
- Kevin says that it goes both ways, because he’s been accused of racism for stopping people who happen to be minorities when those people have warrants, are running red lights, etc. He tells them that they do have some sensitivity training, and the department does keep statistics, but it’s going to take a long time to fix hundreds of years of racism. He’s right.
- I would really rather hear the contestants talk about themselves, and not politics. I get my politics from Steven Colbert and Jon Stewart.
- Apollo keeps putting words in Jeffrey’s mouth. Jeffrey is saying that racism will be hard to stamp out entirely, and Apollo says that he’s saying it hasn’t changed at all.
- Robin started to comment, and Ori cuts her off, giving them another topic.
- Obama signs Dream Act v. Dog-friendly beer. I would much rather hear them talk about dog-friendly beer.
- Robin keeps talking about racism. She says that the average black Muslim male is no more a terrorist than the average white Christian male is Timothy McVey. Mike points out that it’s scary for police to approach an unknown vehicle that has been pulled over.
- They’re asked to talk about deportation.
- Kevin says, “That’s his choice, he’s the President, whatever.”
- Jeffrey says, “Oh, so if the brown people are smart enough, they can stay?”
- Joy tells a story about some idiot who was deported because, when police stopped her, she made up a name. The name happened to match an illegal immigrant with a deportation order. Joy says this means something is wrong with the system, but I have to say - that girl may have brought it on herself. Don’t lie to the police, children! (And don’t read this - it’s not really child friendly).
- Gene says it’s silly to have academic standards for immigrants only, and maybe we should send citizens away for being stupid.
- We cut to the bathroom while he’s talking, and see Mike and Kevin. Kevin is saying that he wants to tell someone to shut up, and Kevin says she’s physically incapable. I thought he was talking about Joy, because she was the one who was talking at the time. However….
- Kevin wanders out and Robin wanders in. She says that she doesn’t want to discuss this topic. Mike points out that, every time she tries to speak, Erica jumps all over her. Robin is upset. Mike says, “Let Joy talk. She doesn’t make any sense, anyway.” Ha! Maybe they were talking about Joy.
- Kevin comes back. He thinks they changed the topic because he wasn’t defending the cop. Robin says that the problem is that Erica is drinking again. Mike whines that Erica, Joy, and Stephanie are very opinionated. Mike tells Robin that they’re all gunning for her. I’m not sure that is the case.
- Jeffrey comes in and asks if they’re having an elder’s meeting. Robin apologizes to Jeffrey for people jumping on him, and he said that’s part of debate. He doesn’t care.
- Robin says that she left because there are things the viewer doesn’t need to know about her. Unfortunately, she doesn’t seem to be aware that ABC has decided that the bathroom conversation is more important than the living room, so we now all know her political opinions.
- Kevin says that it’s silly to give people loads of beer, force them to drink it, and then tell them to talk about racism and politics. She then says that she won, because she has all the men in the room. Apparently, Gene and Apollo don’t count.
- The best part of this entire four hours is when Kevin mentions that Holly is awfully quiet, and Robin tells him that it would help if someone told her who Obama is. That’s awesome.
- Now Robin and Kevin are talking to Andrea. There’s a random sound bite of Stephanie saying that, after Robin, she’s the oldest female, but I don’t know who she’s talking to or what they’re talking about. Andrea says that she doesn’t see the point of getting involved in conversations like this one.
- Robin says she’s not going to engage and argue with everyone on TV, like the producers so obviously want. That suggests they’re going to edit her badly soon to get rid of her, because she won’t play along.
- Robin, Kevin, and Andrea join everyone else in the living room, once again talking about Alex and Jacob. They’re wondering if they’re together in limbo, there are cameras, they can communicate or see the others or whatever. I don’t know, so whatever. They’re playing beach ball volleyball again, and Joy randomly says that she’s glad she didn’t get deported at 15. That was weird.
- Apollo and Kevin say they should do shots of whiskey, then talk about abortion and the death penalty. That would be awesome.
- Ori tells them that there’s an intellectual challenge coming up and they all say good-night. Ori tells them to avoid stones, and they all start asking us to vote for them.
- The live stream follows as they all wander out of the living room, back to the kitchen, then fades out.
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