They’re all in the kitchen, sitting around the counter. Erica reminds us that she has no bed, so if she leaves, she’s taking a mattress with her. She suggests living at someone’s house after the show, and Joy offers her a couch. Erica says that she’s stealing a mattress when she leaves, along with one of Kevin’s soiled shirts. Joy offers her a mattress, but she has to get it to Denver. This is only a minute.
Singing Contest
Singing Contest
… From the live feed. Don’t bother, if you saw it. If you didn’t, skip ahead to where Ashley sings. Do not watch the live feed, if you like yourself.
Holly’s Outfit
They’re all in the living room, and someone says she’s tried. Holly decides to go to bed and wanders out. Gene asks why Holly is always walking around in a bikini, but didn’t want her bra to show in the half shirts. This is an excellent question. Ashley gives a non-answer, which is that women want to show their bikinis, but not their bras. (I mean, I realize that this applies to most women, but it doesn’t make sense). Joy says that she should model swimwear or lingerie. The women start talking about how she has a great body, and Gene acts like he never noticed. “I’ll have to look.” Ha! Joy says that everyone has their own look, and she likes Andrea’s modest look. Stephanie says that it’s about bing true to yourself. Ashley wanders away and says a weird, breathy “Good night!,” which no one notices because they’re not looking. She joins Kevin and Mike in the bedroom. She claims that she had to leave because she couldn’t hate anymore, but they were saying nice things about how it’s beautiful to be who you are and you have to know yourself, so that’s not really hateful. Calling other people hateful for no reason is, though. “I don’t want to be hateful, so now I’m going to talk trash about everyone else. It’s OK, though, because I don’t like them.” What a bitch. Now, they’re saying that Joy is jealous of Holly because she has a way better body. Except she doesn’t, so that doesn’t make any sense. Has anyone seen Joy’s body? It’s just about perfect. I know, because she was walking around in a thong in one of the live feeds. Ashley starts going on and on about how a bra is different from a bikini. Depends on the bar, honestly. Most of them are not. Ashley then finds Holly and recounts the entire conversation again. Now, they’re all just talking about how they’re all so jealous of Holly. Why would anyone be jealous of Holly? She’s got good hair, but she’s not pretty, she’s dumb as a rock, and she’s fucking annoying. Yes, she’s thin. She’s 21. She won’t be thin forever. Besides, you only need to be that thin if you’re dumb, ugly, and boring. Otherwise, you have other things that make people want to hang out with you. Holly starts talking about covering up her body. As long as she covers her mouth, I’m happy. They start playing dress-up, as Holly puts on like 20 layers of clothes and then walks back into the living room. Joy asks to feel her abs, and then Holly goes back to bed. That was so weird.
Is Joy Playing with Gene?
Ashley asks Joy again if it’s a showmance, or a romance. Joy says she’s already answered that. Cut to Joy in the confessional, telling us that she doesn’t really know what’s going on, and doesn’t think Gene really knows, either. We see her saying, again, that she came into the house to win the money, not to fall in love. She’s not going to let anyone get between her and her daughter’s college fund. I’ve seen this before, too. Wow, thanks ABC for (a) making me watch these really boring, crappy live feeds, (b) carving them up into pieces and acting like you created videos I want to watch, and (c) making me watch the same boring shit AGAIN. Eff you, ABC.
Confident Captain
Holly and Joy are talking about how Holly’s team needs to win, and Joy will not throw Holly under the bus. Holly tells Joy that she feels confident in her team, and Joy says that’s good, because they’re going to win. I’m glad to have it confirmed that she is the Team Captain. Joy is concerned, because she thinks the other players pressured her into picking a team that she wanted to lose so she could get one of the players in the other alliance out of the house. Everyone else thinks that, too. Holly says like 2,000 platitudes, as if she were coaching basketball. It’s all meaningless babble.
Gene’s Real Showmance
Kevin asks Gene if he really thinks it was so horrible to kiss a girl one week and vote her out the next. Kevin is worried that everyone is going to think it’s awful and hate him. Gene doesn’t know that it’ll be aired at all. Oh, Gene, it was, and it made Kevin look like a jackass. Kevin then says they should show Gene’s “showmance” instead, because it’s more interesting. He says it’s because his is real. Mike says something that I miss. I don’t like him enough to rewind. In the confessional, Gene says that he thinks Kevin has a genuine concern the Joy is playing him, but Mike is just trying to be a dick. If Joy votes against him, he’ll be surprised, but he would also be impressed with her ability to play the game.
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