LIve Feed - Wednesday, July 4

• Ashley, Kevin, and Mike in the living room.  Ashley seems to think that everyone on the other team is calling their own players names and degrading them.  No, they’re saying mean things about the people on your team, who deserves it.

• I SEE ERICA!!  PRAISE JESUS!  YAY!!  WOO-HOO!!
• I have completely stopped listening to Ashley because (a) I don’t care, and (b) Erica is back!!!  
• I miss a few minutes, because I’m doing the dance of Erica being back.
• The music starts, and they gather in the living room.  We have to watch them singing the Star-Spangled Banner and waving their arms around.  Joy has the biggest boobs I’ve ever seen.
• Ori sounds different today.  She’s also talking much faster.  Huh.  
• Ori tells them that they’re playing games today instead of answering tough questions.  Apparently, they have to make costumes out of… uncooked spaghetti?  What is that? My connection is not so good this week.  Sorry.  I’m positive that it’s NOT uncooked spaghetti, but I don’t know what it is. Glow sticks?  Nice!
• Ori:  “Reach my in drawer”.  That sounds dirty.
• They also get what I think is streamers and poker chips, but turns out to be body paint.
• Ori tells us that the voice change is due to a virus.  I wonder if the usual Ori is off for the holiday.  
• This is not interesting.
• They note that Ori shows Tweets from the same people over and over.  That probably means only 10 people are tweeting.  I’m pissed they showed the tweet of someone who confused “you’re” with “your” instead of mine.  Jerks.
• Ori asks if we want to see them paint each other or themselves.  Each other, duh.
• This is so thoroughly uninteresting that I’m actually not listening at all until they start joking that they should start talking about racism.  Is it because Gene has covered his face with white?
• Ori tells them to paint each other, and Stephanie asks for someone to team up with her.  Erica joins her.  Joy offers to paint Mike, and he’s not letting anyone else paint him.  Once again, he refuses to do with the viewers say.  “Eff the moral majority!”  Eff you, Mike. Joy paints Jeffrey instead.
• I really hope they’re not as bored as I am. 
• Ori tells them that we’re voting on whether they should talk about worst drunken experience or first kiss.  Ori thinks people will vote on their stories.  I don’t care enough to do that.  They’re answering in a group, in front of everyone.
• Holly is painting a tie on Ashley, who already gave herself a white beard.  Does she want to look like Uncle Sam?  She needs to be way taller, less female, and not so annoying.  Also, Uncle Sam rarely wore bikini tops in public. 
• For obvious reasons, worse drunken experience wins.
• Jeffrey says that, on his 21st birthday, he got so drunk he and his friends passed out in a parking garage and slept there all night.
• Gene and friends rented a three bedroom suite for someone else’s birthday.  He got into a contest with another guy - shots, then giant cups full of hard liquor.  He drank 9 cups of alcohol, 12 beers, 3 margaritas, etc. (and he’s not a beer drinker).  He walked around asking everyone how drunk he looked.  Someone was worried that he would get alcohol poisoning, so he had to throw up.  He wound up passed out, and a friend of his removed his shirt, washed it, and left him a note that his shirt was in the dryer.  That was sweet of her.
• Holly says that she’s never had a drunken experience, because she doesn’t drink.  Ori reminds her that the viewers want the truth.  Wasn’t she drinking earlier in the game?  Who else is googling right now for drunken pictures/videos/stories of Holly Yako?
• Erica, sadly, has lots of drunk experiences.  She should mention making out with Kevin.  Nope.  She was engaged, and her fiancé was out of town, so she drank vodka alone, watched Beaches, and cried.  She started a movie script called “Vin Diesel 3” and a book on how women are like cats.  Ori likes cats.  
• Ashley doesn’t drink, either.  She tells a story about taking care of someone else who was drunk.  It’s very self-serving, and probably a lie, so I refuse to recap it.  Wasn’t she drinking the first week, too?  This is so confusing.
• Mike isn’t going to give us a real story.  So, whatever.  Again, he bitches that Ori didn’t comment on his story.
• Stephanie didn’t really drink in college, but she started drinking when she moved to Germany.  Worst experience involved beer + tequila shots.  She wound up throwing up multiple places, including in her purse in the cab, when she winds up back at a friend’s house.  She starts screaming Bjork’s “It’s Oh So Quiet!” after being informed that she had to be quiet, due to very strict German laws.  That’s hilarious.  
• Joy went a little crazy on her birthday.  She’s wearing almost nothing but body paint.  I realize it’s a swimsuit, but… it covers very little.  I can’t listen, because her boobs are so giant.  I don’t even know what her story is.  All I know is that she had a friend take her home because she was so drunk.  She took off her clothes and climbed into his bed, and he slept on the couch and didn’t take advantage of her.
• Andrea talks about everything they all talked about in the Glass House on Monday.  She makes it sound like she drank, but we all know she didn’t.  She later clarifies that it wasn’t her drunken experience (while Kevin is talking).
• Kevin - also his 21st birthday.  I stop listening to him, too, because I hate him.  He got sick and puked during a party his girlfriend threw for him.
• Ori tells us twice to vote.  I think that’s because no one was doing it.  I refuse.  We get a gratuitous crotch shot on Joy.
• Ori asks all the men to move in front of the monitor for voting.  We’re watching Holly in the kitchen, moving very bizarrely.   She’s hunched over, shuffling for something - looking for My Precious??  Not sure.  Looks like it.  Apparently, she wrapped herself so tightly in streamers she can’t move her legs.  What a dumbs.  
• They women line up.  Holly is basically a mermaid.  She has one leg instead of two.  Is  she doing a Native American parody?  That’s highly offensive.
• Erica has “I <3 Toby Keith” on one arm, and “Obama is a socialist, Bro.” on the other.  Stephanie painted fireworks on her belly.  Andrea painted stars all over herself.  The stars themselves are well done.
• The three people who voted said that the female costumes were better, probably because they were “more naked,” as Erica put it.
• Ori tells them to partner up.  I’m not sure why.   Are they just posing in pairs?  Whatever.  This is lame.
• Ori tells them that we voted on what type of pie they should eat - apple or cherry.  I vote cherry, because it’s easier to eat, but they all want apple.
• Kevin’s shirt says “Detroit hustles harder.”
• Apple pie wins.  I lose, because I am still watching this crap.  Thankfully, there are only 15 minutes left.
• None of these people are very good at eating pies.  They’re taking forever.  I’m so bored, I can’t even tell you who won.  
• Stephanie is trying to say that she ate more than the others, because she ate mostly crust, and the others left crust around the edges.  I could see that Holly, who never shuts up, could eat much faster than normal people. 
• Gene tells us that he hates apples.  He killed that pie.  He needs to win.  I’m so bored I forget to vote.
• Kevin tells us that he and Mike are allergic to applies.  I assume he’s lying. ABC wouldn’t have had us vote on a food two of them are allergic to.
• Gene wins the pie-eating contest.  Mike says they could save a lot of time on the live feeds and just announce the Gene won the contest.  Ha!
• It’s been an hour (really, not 12 hours)?  They all gather in the living room, Ori gives the usual sign-off, and I’m still better that they didn’t show Erica my “Welcome back” tweet.
• They think it’s over, but it isn’t.  
• Joy is at the bathroom sink, as Ashley is getting into the shower.  Not really sure why they showed that.  Joy heads into the kitchen.  Gene says that he tries to focus on things like “What if the viewers will automatically eliminate the player who comes in last?, so he wants to make sure not to come in last.”  
• They’re all talking about how they want to go throw up, because they don’t know when the challenge will start and they don’t want to be sick by having to run after eating an entire pie.  I really hope the challenge doesn’t involve jumping jacks, because I don’t want to watch them all.  Is it a puking challenge?  Still better than mixing salads with their feet.  Seriously.
• Mike says “Fifteen minutes!!”  Jeffrey asks what he’s talking about, and Mike snaps at him and says it’s a team meeting.  Andrea clarifies that it’s a meeting for the challenge team, and not any sort of secret strategy meeting.  Stephanie was just clarifying that she was invited.  What that tells me is that Andrea, Mike, and Stephanie must be on one team, and Jeffrey, at least, is on the other.  Interesting.  I learn so much more during these sneak peeks.
• We end on Andrea wiping paint off, which is good, because I’m hungry.