Live Feed - Thursday, July 5

• Ori tells the viewers that we’ve partnered them up. Is this the massages?
• Andrea/Kevin
• Ashley/Steph
• Erica/Holly
• Joy/Gene
• Mike/Jeffrey
• This is interesting, because I totally voted for Robin to massage herself and now, I bet she is.
• Ori says that we voted on massage v. magic tricks, but I think she’s lying.  We had to match massage partners last week, and I don’t recall voting on magic tricks.  Interesting.  
• Andrea looks pissed.  DRINK!
• Ori: “I wish I could join in a rubdown.”  Some of the players offer to give her one.
• Two people come up the tubes.  I don’t know who they are.  They all wander outside.
• They’re explaining how to give massages, and I’m bored, so I’m not paying attention.
• Ori tells half of them to lie on tables, next to their partners.
• Andrea looks really uncomfortable.
• Ashley just about dove on that table.  I think she wants to be massaged by Steph.
• Apparently, the viewers voted for people to rub hamstrings, not hands.  I missed the vote entirely, because I am so bored I completely zoned out.
• Did Andrea just remove her wedding ring before she massages Kevin?
• Holly has no problem showing her bare leg.
• This is thoroughly uninteresting.  I promise.  Let’s tell knock-knock jokes.
• Knock knock.
• Who’s there?
• Interrupting cow.
• Interupt-
• MOOOOOOO!!!!
• That joke?  Way better than this feed.
• Kevin seems to really like having Andrea touch his leg.
• This is even less interesting than watching them do yoga?
• We are asked to vote to massage face or feet.  I vote that someone kill me now.
• The other two viewers, apparently, voted for “face”.
• I’ll be honest.  I’m not even watching at this point.
• Neck or back?  No!
• Why is Andrea so OK with massaging Kevin, but she won’t sleep in the same room as Jeffrey?  Kevin is actually super hot for her, and I promise, Jeffrey is not.  Is she afraid that she’ll catch the gay?
• Jeffrey is acting like he enjoys being massaged by Mike, but not trying to be all that convincing.
• Ori tells them to feel free to change at any time.  They all think she means change partners, when it should be obvious that she means “Change who is massaging whom.”  Ori then clarifies that the person giving the massage may now receive.  I thought some of these people were smarter than that.
• Andrea looks very uncomfortable at the idea of being massaged by Kevin.
• Now that Kevin is massaging Andrea, I vote that he should rub her legs, not her arms.   Legs win.  I imagine that is because I am the only person watching at this point.
• This is going to be the shortest recap, because I’m so very bored, I’m not watching at all.
• Ori ask the players to talk about the massage experience.
• Andrea tells us that Kevin is a great masseuse, and it’s awesome.  I bet she has a lot of areas she’d like him to massage.
• Kevin tells us that Andrea is a “true professional” and the massage is relaxing.  I really want to make a hooker joke, but I’m so bored, I can’t think of one.
• Ori repeats the question.  Is it relieving and relaxing from what is going on in The Glass House?
• Andrea says that they need to relax.
• Kevin adds that limbo will be very stressful tonight. 
• Ashley says that giving a massage is relaxing?  Really?  Giving?  She says bonding is more relaxing than fighting, and she enjoys feeling Stephanie up.  Yes, she said that.  I hate her a teeny bit less.
• Stephanie says that Ashley’s boyfriend is a lucky man, and she’s enjoying the massage.
• Erica says that this is way more relaxing than trying to think up tweets, but she thinks Holly should have bought her dinner first.
• Holly tells us that it definitely eases the tension in the house.
• Joy says that it’s much more relaxing to be taken care of then to worry about taking care of herself and cooking and stuff.
• Gene appears to be so relaxed, he’s sleeping.  I can’t even hear what he’s saying.  He looks pretty happy to have Joy touching him, though.
• Ori:  “Someone took their microphone off.”  That explains it.
• Mike says that, given the sexual tension between him and Jeffrey, he feels much more comfortable and may be slipping into his room later.  Mike made a comment about “being lucky enough to be here today,” which makes me wonder if his team lost the challenge.
• Jeffrey reminds us that Mike was the first person to play “suck and blow” with him that first night, and the massages are definitely bringing them closer.
• Whoa, whoa, whoa,  Andrea just put her shirt back on.  Was Kevin massaging her in her bra?
• If my friends weren’t here, I would be trying to gouge my eyes out with toothpicks.  Then again, since I’m making them watch this, they may not be my friends much longer.
• Ashley and Stephanie start to massage Jeffrey.  He’s a lucky man.
• Ori tells them that they’re done, and the massage people leave.
• They keep massaging each other.  WHY??????? TURN IT OFF!! SHOW SOMETHING ELSE!  Oh, sweet Jesus, this is awful.  
• Ori tells them it’s over.  Andrea is now massaging Gene.  Does she think that’ll bring them over to their team?
• They’re making lunch.  Jeffrey is sad that the massage guy left.  “He had a good smile.  Strong arms, nice legs…”
• OK. These “sneak peeks” after the live feed ends are supposed to be interesting.  This is not.
• Please, ABC, just cut off this live feed so I can stop watching.
• Gene is massaging Ashley, who appears to be really enjoying it, quite a lot.  She's moaning and sighing. Is her boyfriend watching this?
• Finally, we move to the kitchen where they’re eating lunch.  Erica is doing her nails.  She tells us that she almost achieved orgasm when Dell was massaging her.  That’s by far the most interesting part of this hour, so I’m ending here.