Live Feed - Thursday, July 12

HAHAHA!  Only one live feed today!  Suck it, ABC!  I get to have a real life!!  Oh, hello there.  Sorry.  

• Ori wants more tweets.  She ignores all mine, so I’m not going to send any more.  Bite me, Ori.
• In the living room, Ori tells them to divide into teams of three.  C’mon, this is easy.  Joy joins Erica and Steph.  Holly is touching Kevin inappropriately.  They’re with Mike, leaving Jeffrey, Andrea, and Gene.
• That’s awesome.  They’re on a team together because Andrea was too busy being better than them to actually join a team, and Jeffrey just didn’t feel like it.  Team JAG!  That’s catchy.  Since it doesn’t matter in the slightest, I arbitrarily choose to root for Team Jag (in this challenge, not in the game).
• They’re either sculpting with molding clay or mashed potatoes?  Can we please stop wasting food?
• It’s OK.  They’re using instant mashed potatoes, which aren’t really food.
• Gene requests some gravy to aid in his sculpting.
• We’re asked to vote on what they should sculpt, but mine is broken, so the only option is the Leaning Tower of Pisa.
• Andrea whines that everyone else go to the spatulas first.  Sounds like a personal problem, Andrea.
• Kevin tells us that he’s about to get really artsy and pretentious.  He’s been pretentious for weeks.
• Ori tells us that they can use other foods options.  5,000 starving people in Africa sue ABC.
• Jeffrey says, “These are real firm.”  I can’t see what he’s talking about, but he’s talking to Andrea, so I’ve decided to believe that he’s talking about her breasts.
• Instead of sculpting, Mike is trying to jump rope on a trampoline.  It might be amusing, but I’m annoyed that he is once again refusing to participate.
• Team Jag is doing Stonehenge, JES is doing the Roman Coliseum, because it’s fitting, given their slutty trip to Italy.  TeamAsshole is doing the Leaning Tower of Pisa.  I wonder if that’s because you couldn’t vote for anything else.
• Joy and Gene mysteriously vanish into the house.  Hmmmm…..
• Apparently, the potatoes are so runny, they can’t sculpt with them.  
• Ori decides to read Twitter comments while they are tweeting.
• Who is the biggest slob?  What is each person’s annoying habit?
• Jeffrey:  I have an answer, but that person won’t like it.  Ori:  Say it.  Ha!  Before he can even answer, Erica raises her hand.  She thinks there are more important things in life than folding towels or… brushing your teeth?  That’s a joke, right?  She does her own dishes, but she does things like leave an orange out.
• Sounds like everyone agrees that it’s Erica - including Erica.  Stephanie says they have an agreement where Erica can throw as much crap as she wants in the corner, behind the chair, where Steph can’t see it.
• Erica pointedly looks at Steph and says, “Now let’s talk about everyone’s most annoying habit!”  She wants to start with Jeffrey, so maybe she’s not talking about Steph.  She tells us about Jeffrey, in drag, singing about the hidden wine.
• Stephanie is “a little bit Rainman.”  She likes things clean and put away, but also at right angles.  Oh, she also has to make sure the cheese is in the right drawer.  If the cheese isn’t in the cheese drawer, how do you find it?  What do you do if you can’t find the cheese?!  
• If we told you that someone in this house is not really who they say they are, who do you think it is, and why?
• Well, Holly can’t figure out who she is, and she was a last minute substitution….
• Mike says that he thinks Jeffrey is really straight, and he’s going to win for being the best actor.  Jeffrey, “If that’s true, I’d give me the money.”  Mike, “Me, too.”
• Joy thinks that Holly is really her twin sister Heather.  Guess Joy also doesn’t know what “fraternal” means.
• Gene thinks that Kevin is really a comedian.
• Holly can’t think up her own story, so she says Jeff is straight.  Then she says that Gene probably has a wife and kids back home.
• Andrea thinks Stephanie is secretly a multimillionaire.  She says that the show isn’t really The Glass House, but Secret Millionaire.
• Erica thinks Andrea runs a cockfighting ring in Tijuana.  I love that no one is being serious.  Then, Erica talks about Holly’s degree in Astrophsyicology.  I want to take that!  Kevin has to be an actor.  Kevin says he’s a sculptor, but Ori doesn’t believe him.
• Jeffrey says Holly, because he has a real connection with everyone else in the house and she’s a “total void.”  Ouch.  That’s totally accurate.
• Stephanie also thinks Kevin is a comedian or actor.  But she thinks that he learned these skills as an undercover cop pretending to be a prostitute.  Please tell me that’s true.  Holly calls Kevin a genius.  Maybe compared to you, sweetie.
• Kevin thinks that Jeffrey is really straight, and Gene secretly has a gay crush on him.  Erica thinks Gene is secretly white.
• Interesting.  Ori tells them that they will be going to the confessional in pairs, both answering every question asked.  I am very intrigued.
• Kevin picks Mike.  If you’re actually surprised, you may be dumber than Holly.  
• Who would you rather team up with if it was necessary to win - Erica or Joy?
• Kevin says, no question, Erica.  He hates Joy.  I like Joy, but Erica is way better.
• Mike says Erica.  He’d hate himself, but he would team up with Erica if absolutely required, but he also hates Joy.
• Only one question?  Lame.
• Gene takes Joy with him.  He said he was going to take Steph, but she’s taking him, so whatever.
• Gene takes a moment to thank us for putting them in the friends room together.
• I really like her shirt.
• Who do you think you would team up with if Joy left?
• Gene says Stephanie.  He doesn’t have to think about it.  “It’s ‘team up’ not ‘hook up.’”  They wake each other up and have breakfast together every morning as part of The Breakfast Club.
• Joy says she’s OK with this, because, if Gene got booted, she would also team up with Stephanie.  I imagine Joy isn’t answering this question because that wouldn’t make sense.
• Gene says that he’s all real.  Joy says she isn’t and shakes her boobs.  Niiiiiiiice.
• Oh, Gene thinks there are 3 million people watching!  That’s so cute!
• Mike grabs Kevin and goes back into the confessional.
• I loathe them.  Sounds like they’re making fun of Gene and Joy, but I don’t know how they could have seen her.
• This stupid show made me forget what I was supposed to be doing.
• Do you fully trust Andrea?
• Mike says yes.  I think he’s only saying it because Kevin is sitting there.  Cut to Andrea in the kitchen, looking pissed.  Mike tells us that Andrea is playing everyone else, but at least tells them that.
• Kevin says that Mike and Andrea are the only two he trusts completely.  Well, the good news is that soon enough, the three of them will be able to sit around and talk to only each other, because everyone else in the house will shun them.
• Stephanie and Gene head into the confessional.  This is very interesting, since we never see them together on the live feeds.  I’d like to see some Breakfast Club videos.
• Gene tells us that Stephanie is the best part of waking up in the morning.
• As of now, who do you trust the least?
• Andrea.  She doesn’t even have to think about.  Andrea goes around, trying to sow doubt and create discord in the house.  To be fair, she’s so screwed that she doesn’t really have a choice.  But she’s a bitch.
• Gene says that he wants to comment, even though it wasn’t his question.  Andrea is totally sneaky.  She says one thing to him, and the complete opposite to everyone else.  He also uses the word Wack-a-Doodle!  They are reading my blog!  Hi, Gene!
• So, Andrea’s not really sneaky, but also not too bright?  She doesn’t know that they’re all talking to each other?
• Holly dragged Erica into the confessional.  She’s talking about how much she loves Erica, who is mouthing “What the fuck?  Help me!  HELP ME!!!”  Poor thing.  Holly proposes to Erica, who looks the most uncomfortable I’ve ever seen her.
• Who is the biggest bully in the house?
• Holly says it’s Erica.  What?  This is bizarre and awkward.  Could Ori maybe read Holly a definition of bully?  
• Ori asks Erica to comment, but she wisely chooses not to do so.
• As Holly throws air kisses and yells “Toodles!”, Erica mouths “WHAT THE HELL?” at the camera.  I think she’s going to shower now, since Holly gave her herpes by hugging and kissing all over her.
• Joy takes Jeffrey into the confessional. He’s very excited.
• Joy says that she chose Jeffrey because she’s the closest thing to a gay guy in the house.  Closer than Erica?  Really?  
• Does Stephanie make you jealous of Gene?
• She says that she’s had a couple of twinges, but she really likes Stephanie, and she also has a connection with her, but she’s not really jealous.  I don’t think she really see Stephanie as competition in that way.  Gene is very clearly totally into her.
• Ori asks Jeffrey if he believes her, and he does. 
• It’s after four.  Ori’s not done, though.  She calls Andrea into the confessional.
• She picks Mike.  I wonder if I can get away with muting this.  As they wander through the kitchen, Mike also notes the time.  I guess Ori doesn’t care.  She should have started this earlier.
• Mike is way too excited to have friends.
• Do you think anyone in the house views you as a threat?  Who and why?
• She says yes and babbles without saying anything or naming names.
• Specifically, Erica.  Joy thinks Andrea is trying to come between her and Gene, and Andrea thinks Steph doesn’t trust her, either.  She doesn’t.
• Mike forgets Andrea’s name in mid-sentence.  He thinks Joy is threatened by her….. because she asks Andrea for advice?  That doesn’t sound like the actions of someone who feels threatened.
• Mike starts talking about how huge Andrea’s fan base is.  I hope he’s wrong.
• Ew.  Now Ori says, “Toodles.”  I hate that.
• Jeffrey grabs Erica and runs to the confessional, cheering.  She looks much happier with him than Holly.
• Erica, “I get less tired when I walk.”  Yes.  As do most people.  Running is more difficult.
• Jeffrey calls Erica “my delightful little fruit fly.”  
• Is there anyone in your alliance you think is going to back-stab you or is like a double agent?
• He mentions that Gene isn’t a very direct communicator.  He’s also trying to be the swing vote.  Jeffrey says that Gene is the only one he ever doubts in the slightest.
• Kevin comments on the fact that it’s after one.  Ori says, “I do what I want, Kevin.”  Ouch.
• Erica chooses Stephanie and they skip toward the confessional, holding hands.
• Ori greets them.  “Hey, spooners!”
• They say that they created a five person chain of picking so no one would feel left out.
• Why do you think Holly picked you as her best friend in the house, and do you think it worked to her advantage?
• Erica is terrified of Holly.  She tells Steph about Holly’s weird passive-aggressive rant.  She doesn’t think it worked to Holly’s advantage.  She’s not bullying her or going out of her way to create conflict.  She feels bad for Holly, because no one likes her. 
• “It looks like she was going the way of crazy Aunt Robin.”
• Stephanie thinks that Holly knows that she doesn’t really have the support of the other players in her alliance.
• Erica also points out that it could be a desperate last, ditch attempt to get people to vote her back into the house.  
• Stephanie tells us that Joy brought better clothes than she did, so she’s borrowing them.
• I refuse to vote on the best sculpture, because I don’t care.  Nevermind.  I forgot that I agreed to vote for Team Jag.
• Stephanie, Erica, and Joy created a fight in the middle of their Colosseum.  Now, I wish I’d voted for them.  That’s awesome.
• How did Mike, Holly, and Kevin win?  Is someone other than me watching?
• That’s it.  The feed ends.