Vote for Apollo
This is a flashback to last week. Everyone is trying to figure out who to vote for to go to limbo. Alex wants Andrea on his side, but she knows that he’s a giant douche and that he’ll stab her in the back faster than she can say, “I love Jesus.” So, she starts talking to him about Apollo. It’s cut to look like most of them are agreeing to get Apollo out. Interesting.
Ebola
In the community bedroom. Someone is huddled in a bed under the covers. Could be Ashley. Erica, Robin, and Gene are sitting on three other beds. Robin leaves and Stephanie enters. Erica sneezes on Dr. Fluffles. Erica is wearing giant sunglasses and a boa, so this must be from last Tuesday. Anyway, they joke about how ebola must have really sucked, and that’s about it.
Players Rap
I’m afraid. I do not want to watch this. I mean it. Please don’t make me.
Ok. Gene, Apollo, and Alex in one of the community bedrooms. Alex is a douche. Apollo gives him a beat, and all the words run together into bleeps. Erica comes in, and they start rapping again badly. “Erica - let me see your boobs.” If that had worked, it would have been hilarious. They start talking about how upsetting it is to have no music in the house. Hopefully they get some on the weekends. Erica suggests playing Patty-Cake. To ease the pain? Who knows.
Johnny Cash
The douche is in the hot tub, talking about how he wishes he had Johnny Cash music. He’s talking to Jacob, although for some reason, the camera is only showing us a ridiculously hairy chest with a giant, weird creepy head on top. His hair reminds me of my ex-boyfriend. If we were still together, I would dump him immediately for that reason. Nothing in my life can remind me of Alex. Anyway, the giant tools in the house like Johnny Cash. That makes me a little sad, because Johnny deserves better fans.
Shake Weight
They get so excited to see that they’re getting exercise equipment. They really want the bike, but they realize quickly that they’ll probably be getting a Shake Weight. Obviously. Jeffrey and Gene start shaking with it. They pass it around and dance with the shake weights. No one believes they are burning calories or getting more fit. Ashley throws out a, “Thanks, viewers,” but I don’t think she really means it. I really wish I could find a video clip from the episode of RuPaul's Drag Race where they make a commercial, but, alas, I cannot. This is almost as good:
Make Fun of Alex
At least the title of this one seems promising. Gene and Andrea are sitting in a room, doing impressions of Alex. Gene needs to do more weird things with his mouth if he wants to be Alex. He does take a smile break, which is nice. Andrea does a pretty good impression of either an ADD monkey on crack or Alex when she met him. She tells us that Alex is an idiot. We noticed. It sounds like she was afraid to be alone with him when the two of them first arrived in the house. I can’t blame her.
Food Love
Apollo, Stephanie, Joy, Gene, and Mike are in the kitchen, making what appears to be sandwiches. They start talking about Thanksgiving leftovers. Apparently, they got a Thanksgiving feast the night before, and they’re very happy about it. We learn that Apollo is a vegetarian, and there’s a lot of vegetarian food in the house. Apollo is clearly insane, because he then says that it’s because anyone can eat it. No. Everyone does not want to eat fake tofu sausage and other phony meat products. Sorry. Unless ABC really screws with these people and leaves no other options, I suspect all that stuff will be left over at the end. It’s because the producers are from L.A., so they forget how normal people eat.
Human Body
Andrea and Joy are sitting at the glass table. Joy is talking about a group of people that lacks the ability to process emotions and compassion, according to scientific studies. Is this “group” only Jacob and Alex? Or are other people involved? Andrea goes off on the fabulousness that is the human body. That’s the whole clip, so we’ll never know what group of people Joy hates.
Learning German
Stephanie, Apollo, Gene, and Mike are in the kitchen, making pancakes. Stephanie mentioned that the German word for “house” is “haus.” (But she didn’t know “glass”? Weird.) Andrea, off screen, asks why she was in Germany. She mentions that she started as a chemist, went to Florida as a teacher, then went back to Cincinnati before being transferred to Germany. Andrea says that would be cool and Stephanie talks about what a great opportunity it was.
Morning Beach Ball
Gene, Andrea, Alex, Jacob, and Apollo sitting a round on couches, hitting a beach ball around. They’re not very good. They’re communicating with other people that we can’t see, but it sounds like Jacob bounces the ball off Robin at one point. Then, Alex hits the ball and almost knocks something over. I hope it wasn’t Robin’s morning coffee, because I suspect she’s killed for less than that.
I’m not sure why this is two clips. The first is only a minute, and the second is essentially the same angle. Now they’re standing in a circle, and Robin has joined them. We hear Mike in the background saying that he slept with Dr. Fluffles, but couldn’t figure out how to make him purr. Watching these short clips has reminded me just how much I hate Alex. Now, I’m sad. Anyway, they hit the ball a bunch of times and then they drop it.
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