Friday Videos, Part 4

Foot Fetish

****If you happen to be Kevin’s 15 year old daughter, you do not want to read this****

Kevin is lying on the bed, and Mike and Joy are in the room.  Joy touches Kevin’s foot and he calls it the “honey hole.”  Apparently, he really likes it when someone sucks on his toes.  Joy likes it, too.  Mike doesn’t like it, but Joy tells him to just go with it.  She says she never would have had sex if she’d let not liking something stop her.  Her first kiss apparently did not go well, and it was really gross.  She was like 12, though.  I remember kissing being pretty gross and weird at first.  Anyway, Joy goes on to say that most of what she’s done she didn’t like at first.  She thinks Mike can develop a foot fetish if he’d allow himself.  EW!  Kevin wants a girl to suck his toes but won’t kiss her after.  He won’t kiss her toes, either.  Wait a minute.  Does this mean that sinner Kevin is a fornicator?  That’s what I’m hearing.  Where’s Andrea?!?  What a hypocrite.  Wants his toes sucked but won’t reciprocate.  Don’t give Kevin a blow job, ladies.  He’s apparently not much of a given.  (God, I hope his daughter is not reading this.  Samara, go away!)  Anyway, Mike asks Joy if there’s anything she’s not OK with, and she can’t think of anything.  They move to talking about sweat and stuff.  I zone out, because it’s weird and creepy.

                                                 

Gene and the Ladies

Gene, Apollo, and the ladies are gathered around the island.  Ashley says that thinks appearance is important, but it’s about the overall picture and attitude, not the makeup.  Erica says that she can take a guy from a “way hotter chick” just because of her personality and attitude.  Gene says, “I don’t think there can be a way hotter chick.”  I stop and realize that Joy is not in the room.  Huh.  Gene says that a person in the Glass House can only maintain a fake personality for 36 hours.  They move onto talking about Alex again. Erica thinks Alex is a sociopath, and we fade out after Gene challenges her to spell it (she, in fact, sings the spelling, because she is awesome incarnate).

Gene’s Friend

Gene is telling Kevin, Stephanie, and Mike that all of his good friends are in Florida.  Apparently, a good friend of his died in a theme park accident trying to get the ride fixed.  He gives us some gory details that I'd rather not recap.  That’s really sad, though.

Robin’s Husband

Robin and Mike are throwing a ball.  Robin says that her “significant other” will be so glad she’s learning to catch.  Mike asks why he didn’t teach her, and she says it’s because she doesn’t mind looking stupid in front of Mike.  That’s funny.  Then Mike says that his dog learns things the same way as his wife.  What?  Apparently, she completely overreacts if he tries to correct her.  Robin complains about the method her boyfriend teaches.  I suspect that Mike and her boyfriend teach in exactly the same way, and Robin and Mike’s wife’s react exactly the same way.  Robin invites Mike and his wife (girlfriend?) to a Nationals game next summer.  Apparently, her boyfriend is a Phillies fan, which means that he is actually insane.  Robin tells us that they’re so bad, the Nationals try to get all of the tickets sold so Philly fans can’t get them. She then tells us that Philly fans are just all the way around crazy, for all teams.  Apparently, he runs three fantasy football leagues at the same time.  I do not think I’d have much in common with that guy.  But, then again, he hangs out with Robin voluntarily, so I maybe could have guessed that.

Throw Ball

Mike and Robin tossing the ball.  This clip appears to be immediately before the other one.  Mike shows Robin has to throw.  If I already know how to throw a ball (OK, I’ll be honest, I just don’t care), do I still have to watch this?  It’s like four minutes!  I’d rather go read Holly’s Twitter word diarrhea.  Robin tells Mike that the people inside are talking about them.  Robin throws like a girl.  She can’t catch, either.  This is four minutes, and none if it is interesting.

Holly Comes Back

At this point, we all know Holly is back, but here is her talking to Mike as he tries to recruit her for Team Wack-a-Doodle  (Team Yak-a-Doodle?).  She says that she’s just sitting back and laying low.  Mike tells her that sometimes, the best play is no play at all.  He also reminds her that Apollo actually got the lease votes, so it makes sense that she beat him.  Holly has teal nails, but a green shirt, which is weird.  After three or four times through this next section, I realize that it’s ABC that messed up the sound and not my computer.  So, this is stupid.  After a minute of silence, Holly tells Mike that she’ll be back even stronger than she was, and the players are going to be far more intimidated.  Mike tells Holly that she was “absolved” from everything last night.  Does that mean she’s immune this week?  She tells Mike that she can’t be fake.  Mike tells her that the other girls don’t like her because she’s young and pretty.  That’s actually not why they don’t like her.  They don’t like her because she’s obnoxious and she lies.  Mike says that the problem is there are no other hot girls, and Holly starts talking about how all the rest of them are really insecure about their looks.  Really?  Andrea talks constantly about how hot she is, Joy is an actual nude model, and Stephanie has mentioned being comfortable with who she is a few times.  Erica has a valid reason for being insecure, (poor thing!  “Scabby Abby”?  Ew), and she’s dealing with it, plus she knows she’s totally awesome.  So, that means you’re talking about Robin, and she’s on Team Yak-a-Doodle.  Whatever.  It’s interesting that Mike is telling Holly that she has the numbers.  Does he remember every single person voting against her last week?

I’m spending this conversation looking at her, since they’re talking about how hot she is.  She’s thin, with big boobs.  And she has long, flowy hair.  Beyond that, I have no idea what she looks like, because she’s wearing 11 tons of makeup.  But I don’t think she’s really any better-looking than any of the other women.  She just spends more time on grooming.  And she has to, because unlike the others, she is just a pretty face.  She has nothing else.   She's not smart, she's not funny.

Mike is blathering about God’s plan and suggesting that, if he leaves, God only wanted him there for three weeks.  Holly says something like, “Faith. Focus.”  And Mike says he’s Catholic, too.  What’s up with the Steward Smiley chanting?  I went to Catholic school, and there was no “faith focus” bullshit.  Anyway, Jeffrey wanders in, and the clip ends.