Monday Sneak Preview

As I'm still on vacation, I've asked my friend Scarly to produce a guest blog for tomorrow night's live feed.  That feed is brutal, so she's completely awesome for doing it.  Anyway, she's super-busy, but she's seen most of the live feeds so far, so she figured that it probably would be OK to go ahead and write the whole thing in advance.  I read it, and I expect she's more or less right.  

• -Everyone is sitting around, waiting for the live feed to start and pretending that after 7 (or is it 8?) weeks in the house they actually look forward to this thing. 
• We get some tweets where the fans tell us about how much they hope Joy or Andrea survives limbo. Awwww how cute. And pointless. Joy as captain is going home. There are no surprises in this show. 
• Each of the players say who they want to return. Anyone claiming to want Andrea back (ahem, Kevin!) is lying. In actuality the whole house is hoping that Joy somehow pulls off a coupe so they don't have to go up against Andrea in the final. 
• To prove there's no surprises Ori announces...guess what...we're giving you some random ass materials to make costumes no one cares about. And better spend a full 20-30 minutes working on it, because there will be a vote for best costume that has absolutely no bearing on the show whatsoever. 
• Random underwear shots of the female cast members as they change. 
• The viewers get to vote on which drink and which food to give the players. No one, least of all the players, is surprised when the weirdest and grossest selection is chosen. 
• After the players are good and liquored up, ABC asks them to answer questions on very pressing topics and issues. 
• Now that Mike has gone home and sour-faced Andrea is limbo, everyone is actually participating and seems to be getting along and have fun with this.
• Erica fawns over Kevin, who is visibly trying to figure out if he can tell her to get a life without pissing off all the housewives voting for him. 
• Gene is aimlessly wandering around, not sure what to do with Joy in limbo and no one to cuddle with or pretend that he's like the greatest guy EVER. 
• Stephanie is joyfully oblivious to whatever drama may be brewing and is concentrating on doing whatever the viewers tell them to do and to Make. It. Work. 
• Jeffrey is trying to figure out how the fuck to get rid of Kevin, so that his BFF will finally get her head out of her ass. 
• After 3 hours it all starts over for an abridged repeat as we now have to pander to the West Coast viewers who just joined.