Live Stream - Thursday, June 13

Thursday, June 13

• We start on the outside, looking in.  Everyone is talking at once - I think I heard something about dog saliva? Dishes?  What? A tone goes off, and Steph says, “I have to salivate now.”  No idea why, but Holly is cracking up (or Joy).
• Everyone gathers in the living room.  Faux-Siri greets them in Spanish.  Apparently, she thinks the show has gone international.
• Faux-Siri tells them that there is a buzz about regrets and mistakes - viewers want to hear them.  Says to keep sharing so we can get to know them.  Keep new name suggestions coming!
• Faux Siri tells them that we voted on sexy yoga v. oddball dodgeball.  They’re all in workout clothes, so I think they knew this was coming.  Except Jacob, who is wearing what is apparently the only shirt he owns (which is, for the record, essentially a green striped wife beater).  Dodgeball won.  The viewers have to vote - stuffed animal balls or sponges?  While we’re voting, they’re supposed to divide into teams.  Gene wants Jeffrey and Andrea.  Not sure why he randomly gets to pick the team, but I hear Mike say he trusts Gene.  Robin doesn’t know how to play dodgeball.
• Erica’s workout clothes are very, very pink.  I hope they have to throw her stuffed cat.
• They line up against the house while balls drop out of the sky.  Faux-Siri explains the rules, for people who never went to middle school.  It looks like they basically set up teams based on how they were standing:  Robin, Jeffrey, Apollo, Gene, Kevin, Erica, and Andrea v. Stephanie, Ashley, Holly, Jacob, Joy, Mike, and Alex. 
• A bunch of stuffed animals fall out of the sky.  Erica asks to bring “Dr. Fluffles,” so I guess I now know the cat’s name.
• I’m trying to figure out if Andrea is wearing magic underwear under her workout clothes, but I don’t think so.  Bad Mormon!
• Joy is out instantly, but I’m not sure why.  Someone must have hit her.  Jacob is insisting that he hit Jeffrey.  During the discussion, he just runs up and hits him with it.  So, that settled that.  Faux-Siri tells them they’re on the honor system.
• They’re apparently not playing that, if you catch it, you get to bring someone back in, which sucks for team Robin, Kevin and Apollo, as the only ones left against most of the other team.
• Next:  Throw pillows v. Koosh balls.
• Unfortunately, the team Alex is on wins, so he prances around like a giant douche and tells everyone else how much they suck.
• Holly has giant boobs.
• Stephanie invited Joy to do sexy yoga while waiting for the next balls.  Koosh balls!!
• Ashley is out the second she runs for the front.  (That actually might have been her out immediately the first time - lots of movement).
• HAHA!  Alex is out.  Game 2 looks like all of one team, and only Jacob Joy, and Stephanie on the other.  They’re trying to stockpile the balls, because they’re smart.  That way, Jacob can pick them off one at a time.  It doesn’t really work.  I actually won’t be surprised if Jacob single-handedly beats the other team.  Stephanie is out, so Jacob is picking his shots.  It’s Andrea v. Jacob and Joy in the end.  Andrea somehow has all 6 balls.   She tried throwing two at once, but Joy caught it.  I love her shirt.
• Balled up socks v. toilet paper rolls.  Stephanie mentions that they’re running low on TP, but Ashley points out that no one wants nasty TP.  While they wait, Stephanie asks for a kale chip recipe, or sugar cookies.  Robin says she’ll share her kale chip recipe if they lose - not sure if she means Stephanie losing the GH Game, or Steph’s team losing dodgeball.  Either way, TP rolls fall from the sky.  After an akward pause, Faux-Siri tells them to unwrap the rolls.  Someone started unrolling it - Joy?  Ashley points out that’s a really bad idea.  Faux-Siri tells them that the viewers might restock their bathroom.
• Ashley made it past the first three seconds this time, which is good.  I like Erica, but her pants are just not flattering.  Much too tight.  Alex tells Gene that he’s too fat, and Gene tells Alex that he’s just “slow mentally”.  I wish he’d said “a giant douche.” 
• It ends up Robin v. Mike, Joy, Jacob Holly, and Alex.  She has all the rolls, so she wisely sits on the grass.  Unfortunately, she’s required to play, so they take her down pretty quickly.
• What should the players do next?  More dodgeball v. yoga?  Stephanie is cleaning up TP.  She makes a lovely scarf with it.
• It’s really weird how they all walk around talking about how much they love each other, because that is not what I get from the Twitter feeds.
• Sexy yoga!  A yoga instructor comes up the elevator.  Poll - chair vs. tree.  I don’t really consider tree to be a “sexy” pose.  Elizabeth explains yoga and breathing.  Tree pose!
• Next option - fish v. dog tilt, while they’re learning tree. 
• Jacob is hopping all over.  He can’t do it.  Most of the women are fine, although Robin is asking for help.  Apparently, she has some injury, so she’s not supposed to be doing yoga.
• Dog tilt pose.  We’re voting on downward facing dog. v. downward facing frog.
• Watching people do yoga is about as interesting as you would think.  No one has heard of downward facing frog, and it wins. 
• Dancer or flowering lotus? 
• Ashley doesn’t want to do downward facing frog, because her ass is right in Alex’s face.  She turns to the side.  The instructor says that she must spend a lot of time booty popping.  Awesome.
• Next: flowering lotus. 
• Camel vs. Crane?  Why can’t I vote to do something interesting? 
• Jacob and Alex are rocking back and forth, which you’re not supposed to do.  Joy is really good at this.  Stephanie and Holly also get it.  Jeffrey isn’t even trying.  Erica’s also got it.  The only guy who doesn’t completely suck is Apollo.  So, naturally, he’s not getting any camera time.
• The players are begging Elizabeth to come back and teach them every morning.  She tells them to make a wish for someone in the house, then has to explain to Mike that yoga is not a time for negative wishing toward others.
• Oh, god.  Why are we still voting on poses?  I don’t want to watch them do crab or dolphin. 
• Camel!  Apparently, they’re all awesome at it.  Except poor Jeffrey.  The contestants are having fun.  I’m glad someone is.  Elizabeth ask where the drama is directed, and they all point at Douchey…. er… Alex.  He tells her that he loves the drama.
• Supine Pigeon v. One-Handed Tiger.  No.  This is dumb.  I’m not voting.
• Dolphin!  Whatever.  Bored. bored. bored. bored. bored.
• ZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
• 11 minutes pass.  Slowly.  The most interesting thing that happened is Robin getting TP on her foot.  She made a scarf, too.  I may not be the only one who is bored.
• It’s done.  Alex is still a douche.