First, I just need to say two things: A huge THANK YOU to my friends for their help with getting me the information I need to present you with a recap (and making some delightfully snarky comments of their own). Second - this feed sucks. Keeps cutting out, losing sound, etc. There are lots of gaps - sorry, nothing I can do except suggest that you appreciate the relief that these shining moments provide.
- We started in the living room. The challenge involved rolling balls. Stephanie, Andrea, and Kevin are talking about it. Andrea looks upset, and Stephanie thinks it was a “cool challenge.” This suggests to me that Stephanie’s team won, because they’re wearing different colors.
- I imagine that Gene kicked ass at this challenge, as the only one who scored in Stephanie’s bowling challenge the first week.
- Andrea is trying to think of a #Fanswer to ask. Watching them stare at each other is riveting.
- Cut to Gene and Joy in the bedroom. Joy, Gene, and Andrea were on one team. Stephanie and Kevin on the other (although I got that from Kevin’s Ohio Tweet - thanks, Kevin!). Joy says, “It just sucks to be this close.”
- Gene, “You’re not going anywhere.” Yeah, Joy lost. Gene’s talking about how he had the ability to control the game, and he failed.
- Gene is so upset because he “failed” Joy. He does know that, if he wants to win, she need to lose? Just checking.
- I anticipate some more throwing the challenge backstabbing and fighting because, again, Gene was the only one who showed us during week one that he can get a ball in a hole (I’m tired - insert your own dirty joke here).
- The question is - who to send to limbo: Andrea or Gene. Does it matter? Joy will go home, either way. After seven weeks, no Team Captain has returned. I doubt she’ll be the first.
- Jeffrey was also on the winning team. Is he from Ohio?
- Cut to Andrea trying to convince Erica to switch sides and voting Gene out. Erica actually listening to the BS! Erica, honey, Andrea does not want you to vote for her. She realizes that she is the only choice other than Gene. That’s why she’s saying these things. Don’t fall for it.
- They start talking about The Bachelorette. Seriously, these two are on the wrong show. Does anyone else think Erica keeps pushing Kevin to be the next Bachelor because she wants to try out to be one of the contestants? Stay tuned...
- Erica talking about a rift that happened this week and how she is disappointed - this isn’t 100% clear, because it’s boring, and I thought her fight with Joy was more about she’s bizarrely obsessed with Kevin and she doesn’t notice that he’s not that into her (I think the dude is clearly blind and insane, but he still doesn’t want her).
- Andrea, “Everyone needs to be out for themselves”. Erica actually listening to this BS! Andrea really badmouthing Gene and trying to save her ass. Of course, it doesn’t help that Erica never wanted Gene on her team in the first place.
- I’m not sure I’m getting all the player references correct here, since the sound is dropping out. I have no idea what’s going on.
- Kevin is being nice for exactly one reason here - he’s in love with Andrea and doesn’t want her to be sent home. Duh! I want to rip my ears off. Oh Wait! Live feed freezes and saves my ears. Yay for ears! I always liked having ears.
- We learn that Jeffrey was on Steph’s team, and Kevin won a science kit. How? Why? Raise your hand if you don’t care! Ooops. Can’t type with both hands in the air (I don’t care twice). Anyway, he mentions giving it to Steph.
- Apparently, they had caricatures made, too
- Andrea is annoyed that someone other than her got Kevin’s attention for three seconds, so she freaks out. “Not if you don’t give your caricature to me!” What are you going to do with it? Hang it on the wall of pictures of your perfect Mormon family? Maybe with a note? “Here is my perfect boyfriend… Er…. um… friend. Uh-huh.” Shut up, Andrea.
- Anyway, I wonder if Kevin actually thinks Steph is stupid enough to vote for him because he gave her a science kit. Hello, McFly? She’s a scientist! I strongly doubt that she needs your third-grade science kit.
- Erica wants to send a #Fanswer that tries to get the fans to tell her to vote Gene off so she feels better on ditching the alliance and turning her back on him. Kevin is talking smack about Gene while Steph tries to defend him. Interesting…. (not really. I’m lying.)
- Erica is actually considering saving Andrea! Her reason? Gene hasn’t been down in Limbo yet… Ugh. This girl gets more stupid by the minute…
- That “limbo club” thing was a joke Kevin made up, because he didn’t want to go back to limbo. It’s not actually a Glass House rule. Isn’t limbo just sitting in a room sleeping, anyway? Sounds good to me!
- Kevin tells Steph that she must be doing something right, because she’s still in the house. It’s called “Winning challenges,” Kevin. I hope she keeps it up.
- Wait. Steph says that she feels OK because only three of them haven’t been Team Captain? What? Everyone who has ever been team captain has gone home except her and Joy, and Joy’s on her way out. No one left has been team captain. I must have missed something, unless she’s suddenly got amnesia.
- Back in the bedroom, Joy is taking this loss like she lost her grandma’.
- “Life is short…I’m okay… sigh”. It’s just a game. She can make money modeling. Plus, she could have gotten way more money on Survivor. I’m just saying…
- Apparently, Gene stabs Joy in his sleep. This is the second time we’ve heard hints that a “weiner wall” is needed. Ewwww! Apparently, Gene is also celibate when he’s awake. Also, the last thing I needed right now was to think about Gene weiner. Thanks, ABC.
- Ugh, back to Andrea and her serious duck face. Oh, good! She leaves for a minute, so I don’t have to look at her. Why does Erica always change immediately after the challenge while the others wear their uniforms all night?
- My contact lens moves. That actually improves things slightly, as everything is blurry and I can’t see.
- We see Andrea talking to Joy and Gene to try to convince them to save her. Yeah, right. Gene’s going to vote for himself. Isn’t she his only other option? Shut up, Andrea. You’re as douchey as Alex, sometimes.
- Joy is cutting up her clothes. Wait, did I switch internet pages? Am I watching Project Runway?… Man, this show has really gone downhill since it moved to Lifetime.
- I decide to stop listening until Andrea stops being obnoxious.
- What’s interesting is that Erica clearly doesn’t want to talk to Kevin in front of Stephanie. I can only assume because she has already decided to vote against Gene and doesn’t want Steph to know. She claims to need #Fanswers to decide.
- Can I just say Erica has been looking like a bum throughout this feed?
- That’s no way to attract a guy that is clearly into married women
- Erica… Suggestion? Show your boobs some more, I don’t think you’ve shown them enough, you’re still covering 50% of the area… you can do better.
- Jeffrey back in the kitchen.
- Something looks humongous. It’s a calzone. OK, Jeffrey has a calzone because he messed up the pizza and had to fold it in half. Oops.
- Gene’s waist is more than 25” he says he has put on some pounds, he and Kevin. Stephanie says her waist is also more than 25”. Gene is over six feet tall and solid muscle, I imagine his waist was more than 25 inches when he started the show.
- Why are people singing the phrase “perfectly cooked” over and over? This is what happens when there is no music.
- They’re talking about the caricatures. Wouldn’t it be better to see them than to hear people speculate about them? YES!
- Cut to the bedroom - Erica & Jeffrey are talking about something. Can I leave it at that? Does it matter what they’re talking about?
- Jeffrey is fine with it either way. Erica is clearly wants to vote for Gene, but doesn’t want to be the first to break from workable bonds. Too late, sweetie.
- Jeffrey is going to buy a 1989 7,000$ Winnebago if he wins (Ok. Why?)
- Erica says the car is about image and she doesn’t like it. But hair extensions aren’t about image (and are totally more important than paying your debts.)
- Erica & Jeffrey thinks people would hate it if he’s really tagging celebrities (Ha! They do know us).
- Andrea has joined them, her fanswer question: which trait do viewers like, cocky like Gene or humble like Erica. Erica talking about stopping the low self-confidence thing, ‘cause she never really thought it was possible to win, but now she realizes that might be true.
- Andrea says she’s not really confident, but maybe people like that and she wants to know. Hey, Andrea, since you’re not confident, could you maybe stop talking about how hot you are? Thanks.
- Erica thinks that she’ll be team captain next week if Gene is immune? No, Erica, either you or Jeffrey will be Team Captain next week because America inexplicably loves Andrea and Kevin, and they like Gene more than they like you. Sorry.
- Cut to Andrea, Gene & Joy in another room. Joy is making something. Andrea is saying not to cut up her dress. What the hell is going on here?
- Andrea pictures Joy in her red nightgown, whenever she thinks about the house. Um…. I’m sure there’s a secret lesbian fantasty fanfic in there. Who wants to write it? (C’mon - you know that would be more interesting than this shit. Although, I admit - fanfic about real people is creepy and disturbing).
- Joy needs more stuffing. Huh? Is she making a pillow for Gene while she’s in limbo? She is, as a token of her affection. (Creepy, what, creepy?)
- The good news is, he’ll be in limbo, too, so he won’t be stuck in the House without her.
- Joy wants a t-shirt that smells like Gene when she leaves. So, Gene is going to wear one, after he takes a shower, but she wants it stinky. Ewwwww! I randomly wonder what Joy’s boyfriend thinks of this exchange.
- Erica & Andrea blah blah blah. Zzzzzzzzz. Oops. Sorry.
- They are going on an on about the lifestyle of a used Ferrari, and now Andrea is doing the “make it rain, make it rain” thing, as though that’s Gene. (ummm, what?)
- Oh, look! It’s a how-to on putting on makeup while talking shit about your friends! I’m glad to see this, because, usually, my makeup looks so good, but I always eff up the “talking shit about your friends” part.
- Gene and Joy again, he tackles and kisses her. She says that won’t help, so he leaves teasing her. He says she threw a flag on the play, she’s beggin for a little kiss now, but he gives her a hug.
- Blah blah emotional blackmail (you’ll hurt my feelings if you don’t kiss me) so he kisses her, feelings intact now?
- Remind me never to kiss a guy who says that. Oh, wait. No reminder needed.
- Blah, blah, blah more limbo and challenge talk. See, it’s interesting to learn what happened. It’s not interesting to spend three hours talking about it. Cut this whole feed to ten minutes, and that would be great.
- The screen board lit up –Ori!!! Woop Woop!
- Ori just informed them that they could get #Fanswers from a family member. And Andrea of course believes it should be her. Of course, she deserves all the goodness in the world, because she’s a Mormon and she’s so wonderful and special and isn’t she hot and BARF! She acts like it’s already her and then changes her tune for the viewers and says “I would be happy for anyone” (staring at the camera), but seriously keeps acting like it will be her.
- Erica goes as far as saying that Andrea should get it. Why is that, Erica? Oh, yeah. Because bite me.
- They’re wondering about logistics and last minute flights, maybe it’s skype. They don’t know the producer have been working on it for weeks, but now I bet the producers are wondering why they didn’t think of skype themselves. I know why - it’s because they’ve screwed up everything about this show since the very beginning.
- EW! Andrea says, “If I were a viewer I would be curious about her hot husband, I would bring her Hot husband to the house…” So, here’s the thing, Andrea. I’ve seen pictures of him, thanks to your disgusting Prop. 8 campaign, and I know how hot he is - zero. Alex is better-looking.
- And we’re eating & sitting. No talking. I’m really glad I decided to skip Batman to watch this. I totally would have been more bored in Batman. (I’m lying.)
- Oh, no! Andrea misses her family! Send them home so she can see them! Poor thing!
- Erica thinks it’ll be Gary Bussey for her.
- Stephanie & Andrea think calls videos for all would be good. It would be, but it’s not going to happen, because I think most of your friends are not speaking to you after you made them watch this stuff.
- Why did Kevin get a science kit? Anyway - Caricatures!
- Joy gets her caricature first.
- Then Erica waitress with boobs and a hamburger.
- Gene stunts t-shirt with hat, buff.
- Kevin with a big jaw and cop uniform.
- Jeffrey with phone
- Stephanie with microscope and lab coat.
- Didn’t see Andrea, so I’ll assume there’s a big sign that says “Bigot” and she’s wearing a shirt that says, “I am so hot!!”
- Ok, they’re supposed to use the science kit to build the prototype tallest stable skyscraper. I’m not watching that, sorry. Remember science class? Me, too. They take a moment to enjoy their pictures and set them up.
- Only Steph and Jeffrey are paying any attention to what they’re supposed to be doing.
- Stephanie says they’re supposed to use the scientific method.
- Blah blah Joy and Andrea. Joy doesn’t want to go. Andrea is comforting her only because she knows everyone else is voting for Gene.
- Oh, I’m so bored. Even giving them an activity doesn’t help. ABC should send US activities, to thank us for watching. Or cash. Or trips to Vegas.
- Ori tells them that we voted on eating either only when fed or with chopsticks. Of course, it’s only when someone else feeds you.
- Gene & Joy talking about the pillow. The epic freakin’ pillow. So bizarre.
- Joy: do you think it’s silly? No, Joy, I mostly think it’s creepy.
- Gene tries to say it’s creepy, not weird. He’s wrong. The sound goes out, and I’m spared for a moment while I refresh. Hello, Allstate Dog-Guy! I am SO GLAD to see you? Know why? You’re not on The Glass House.
- Anyway, we’re back. Erica, Kevin, Andrea talking about Andrea’s fanswer again.
- Stephanie & Jeffrey join them.
- Andrea says long day waiting for fanswers. Have they even asked the questions yet?
- Everyone goes to nap. Wonderful.
- Joy is putting patches on Gene's shirts. Wtf?
- I’m sorry, I can’t do this. We all know that (a) Erica will ultimately vote for Gene and (b) it doesn’t matter. Look at the numbers. There are seven people. Joy can’t vote. Andrea and Kevin will vote for Gene. Jeffrey will vote for Gene. Gene will vote for Andrea. Stephanie will vote for Andrea. Erica has to vote for Gene, because if she votes for Andrea, it’ll force a tie (and Joy will vote for Andrea). I mean, she has to vote for Gene if she wants to be a lying backstabber.
- Of course, Jeffrey did say that it would bother him if Andrea wins, but I still think he wants Gene out more.
- Joy decides to accuse Stephanie of throwing the challenge. That’s awesome. She should do that.
- Gene – 100% record of calling him out as throwing the challenge and going home.
- I am so bored.
- They say Gene threw the challenge for Robin? What? OK, I refuse to look back to see what the teams were that week, but Robin’s team lost, and that challenge was so weird, I don’t think it was possible to throw it, unless the Team Captains had refused to guess.
- Jeffrey thinks there is a chance Joy could beat Gene in limbo? Really? No team captain has ever returned!! Not one! And Gene has never been near the bottom, and wins the fan votes on most of the live feeds.
- I’m done. I’m sure they’ll vote for Gene, and I honestly don’t care. I hate Andrea, but I get so excited when she goes to limbo, and I cry so hard when she comes back, that I just don’t know if my poor heart can take it. I’m out.
- Only one live feed tomorrow. And - exciting! You’re getting a guest blog! You get to hear 100% from NOT ME! WOO!
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